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Band 3.5

some people think children nowadays have too much freedom. to what extend do you agree of disagree?

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Children 's
freedom
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 has always been discussed by parents who are concerned about their children's future development. As the living standard becomes better, parents are able to provide their kids more opportunities and
freedom
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 to pursue the life the kids like. Children have much more
freedom
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 than ever before.
Firstly
Linking Words
, nowadays a large portion of parents
are
Suggestion
is
 well-educated. They respect their child's choices and are not willing to put many restrictions on their kid's
freedom
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.
Besides
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, they believe that it can cultivate their kids' ability to make
decision
Suggestion
decisions
a decision
the decision
 and encourage them to think independently. The
third
Linking Words
 reason is that happy childhood will have
lifelong influence
Suggestion
a lifelong influence
 on cultivating their character and growth up.
However
Linking Words
, some people hold different opinions. They think
kids
Suggestion
the kids
 are lack of
freedom
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, because most of the time, parents will make decisions for them. It's understandable that parents think kids are not mature or reasonable to make judgements about the pros and cons about the matters.
Besides
Linking Words
, in
this
Linking Words
 highly competitive workforce, parents believe that their children should pay more attentions to their study, which might
occupied
Suggestion
occupy
 their a lot of time, so that they cannot go out to play with friends. In conclusion, I believe that adequate
supervion
management by overseeing the performance or operation of a person or group
supervision
 on children's
freedom
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 is needed, since parents can help their kids tell wrong from right and learn what is good
to
Suggestion
for
in
 their life. When they gradually grow up, they can have more
freedom
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.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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