The government and individuals are spending too much money on national celebrations like new year or festivals. Do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, as a part of the

celebrations

Use synonyms

governments and individuals tend to spend stupendous amounts of money on some national

celebrations

Use synonyms

new year

Correct your spelling

New Year

show examples

, and public festivals. In my opinion, I agree with

this

Linking Words

statement and we will discuss the relevant attributes for it.

Firstly

Linking Words

, entertainment is the basic instinct of human life.

Moreover

Linking Words

, everybody has their own styles and preferences, when it comes to

celebrations

Use synonyms

However

Linking Words

, some yearly festivals distinct to that particular region or province have to be celebrated grandly, because as stated earlier, it is only once

Change preposition

apply

show examples

a year. Indeed, it is the representation of rituals and heritage to a larger audience out there.

For example

Linking Words

, when a country is organizing a large event in order to celebrate its national day, it will definitely be noticed by

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

people all around the world, so it's better to execute

Correct pronoun usage

it in

show examples

a grand way.

Therefore

Linking Words

, some big things are not up to

ourselves

Correct pronoun usage

show examples

, it is far

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

beyond the limit.

Secondly

Linking Words

, certain festivals are deemed to be rare occasions. In that case, it is pretty apparent to enjoy things in a memorable manner.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, these

celebrations

Use synonyms

will hold a special place in history, and

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

will be portrayed in

literatures

Change the wording

literature

kinds of literature

pieces of literature

works of literature

show examples

For instance

Linking Words

, in South India, some traditional carnivals will only be held once in 30 years. Which,

having

Wrong verb form

has

show examples

a huge devotee

bases

Correct the article-noun agreement

base

show examples

to follow, and

also

Linking Words

it will be recognized as a major event to be registered in poems and arts.

Thus

Linking Words

, events have to be relished and remembered for

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

quite a long time. In conclusion, though the money spent is too high, the end results and outcomes of the investments are absolutely beneficial.

Lastly

Linking Words

, after a certain period of time in life, when we look back at our lives, there

has

Change the verb form

have

show examples

to be sweet memories.

Although

Linking Words

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

we go through struggles and failures, the beautiful past will always bring smiles to our hearts.

convictedengineersThu Jul 30 2020

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coherence cohesion

The essay has a logical structure and is generally coherent. However, the introduction and conclusion could be more developed to provide a clearer roadmap for the reader.

task achievement

The essay addresses the task and presents clear ideas with relevant examples. The response could be more comprehensive with a more detailed conclusion.

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13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

316 words

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The government and individuals are spending too much money on national celebrations like new year or festivals. Do you agree or disagree?

Describe a person you love/like/admire You should say: What relation this person is to you? What are your first memories of this person? How often do you see this person? And explain why you really admire this person.

In some countries, most people prefer to rent their homes rather than buying them. What are the advantages and disadvantages of renting a home?

It is becoming increasingly popular to have a year off between finishing school and going to university. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this gap year?

Some people think that it is better to educate boys and girls in separate schools. Others, however, believe that boys and girls benefit more from attending mixed schools. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.