IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The government and individuals are spending too much money on national celebrations like new year or festivals. Do you agree or disagree?

#government #individuals #money #celebrations #year #festivals
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Nowadays, as a part of the
celebrations
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 governments and individuals tend to spend stupendous amounts of money on some national
celebrations
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 like
new year
Correct your spelling
New Year
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, and public festivals. In my opinion, I agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement and we will discuss the relevant attributes for it.
Firstly
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, entertainment is the basic instinct of human life.
Moreover
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, everybody has their own styles and preferences, when it comes to
celebrations
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.
However
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, some yearly festivals distinct to that particular region or province have to be celebrated grandly, because as stated earlier, it is only once
in
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apply
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a year. Indeed, it is the representation of rituals and heritage to a larger audience out there.
For example
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, when a country is organizing a large event in order to celebrate its national day, it will definitely be noticed by
the
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apply
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people all around the world, so it's better to execute
in
Correct pronoun usage
it in
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 a grand way.
Therefore
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, some big things are not up to
ourselves
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us
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, it is far
more
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apply
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beyond the limit.
Secondly
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, certain festivals are deemed to be rare occasions. In that case, it is pretty apparent to enjoy things in a memorable manner.
Furthermore
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, these
celebrations
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 will hold a special place in history, and
it
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they
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 will be portrayed in
literatures
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literature
kinds of literature
pieces of literature
works of literature
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.
For instance
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, in South India, some traditional carnivals will only be held once in 30 years. Which,
having
Wrong verb form
has
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 a huge devotee
bases
Correct the article-noun agreement
base
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 to follow, and
also
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 it will be recognized as a major event to be registered in poems and arts.
Thus
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, events have to be relished and remembered for
a
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apply
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quite a long time. In conclusion, though the money spent is too high, the end results and outcomes of the investments are absolutely beneficial.
Lastly
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, after a certain period of time in life, when we look back at our lives, there
has
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have
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 to be sweet memories.
Although
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,
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apply
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 we go through struggles and failures, the beautiful past will always bring smiles to our hearts.
Submitted by convictedengineers on

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