The government and individuals are spending too much money on national celebrations like new year or festivals. Do you agree or disagree?

#government #individuals #money #celebrations #year #festivals

Nowadays, as a part of the

celebrations

governments and individuals tend to spend stupendous amounts of money on some national

celebrations

new year

Correct your spelling

New Year

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, and public festivals. In my opinion, I agree with

this

statement and we will discuss the relevant attributes for it.

Firstly

, entertainment is the basic instinct of human life.

Moreover

, everybody has their own styles and preferences, when it comes to

celebrations

However

, some yearly festivals distinct to that particular region or province have to be celebrated grandly, because as stated earlier, it is only once

Change preposition

apply

show examples

a year. Indeed, it is the representation of rituals and heritage to a larger audience out there.

For example

, when a country is organizing a large event in order to celebrate its national day, it will definitely be noticed by

the

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apply

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people all around the world, so it's better to execute

Correct pronoun usage

it in

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a grand way.

Therefore

, some big things are not up to

ourselves

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show examples

, it is far

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apply

show examples

beyond the limit.

Secondly

, certain festivals are deemed to be rare occasions. In that case, it is pretty apparent to enjoy things in a memorable manner.

Furthermore

, these

celebrations

will hold a special place in history, and

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

will be portrayed in

literatures

Change the wording

literature

kinds of literature

pieces of literature

works of literature

show examples

For instance

, in South India, some traditional carnivals will only be held once in 30 years. Which,

having

Wrong verb form

has

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a huge devotee

bases

Correct the article-noun agreement

base

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to follow, and

also

it will be recognized as a major event to be registered in poems and arts.

Thus

, events have to be relished and remembered for

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

quite a long time. In conclusion, though the money spent is too high, the end results and outcomes of the investments are absolutely beneficial.

Lastly

, after a certain period of time in life, when we look back at our lives, there

has

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have

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to be sweet memories.

Although

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apply

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we go through struggles and failures, the beautiful past will always bring smiles to our hearts.

Submitted by convictedengineers on Thu Jul 30 2020

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coherence cohesion

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The essay addresses the task and presents clear ideas with relevant examples. The response could be more comprehensive with a more detailed conclusion.

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13Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

316 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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