IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that the benefit of running a small business is to employ family members. What are the advantages and disadvantages of running a family business?

#people #benefit #business #members
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Over the
last
Linking Words
 two decades, playing
computer
Use synonyms
 games is increasing rapidly.Really in
Linking Words
this
plural of "this"
these
 days children much hour spends Front of
computer
Use synonyms
 and
this
Linking Words
 attractive for themselves. I am against, like many parents. With regards to the advantages, playing
computer
Use synonyms
 games can develop children’s cognitive skills. Another good point is that when playing games, teenagers can feel relax and have fun. In fact, they might reduce their stress when playing many popular games with vivid imagery and sound effects
for example
Linking Words
: Pugb, counter strike and others.These mobile and
computer
Use synonyms
 games are very famous in Uzbekistan. And games help at the same time give work with a team.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, these games take many hours than our plan's time.
Computer
Use synonyms
 games distracting focus on study and
this
Linking Words
 fall we more expensive.Usually children think games frequently and speaking about levels.
Linking Words
Second problem
Suggestion
The second problem
 is lighting normal sit in front
computer
Use synonyms
 must be 60 Sm but many times we can see children don't follow that rule, especially in game point. If games have more kill, kick, stab and shoot that impact children's character they lead to with aggressive. In conclusion, there are benefits of
computer
Use synonyms
 games, but there are disadvantages too. So parents need their children to focus more. Children should play games with under control of their parents
Submitted by Javohir Eshquvvatov on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: