IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

some say that music is as important as other subjects in school to promote learning in children life. do you agree or dis agree ? give your opinion .

#say #music #subjects #school #children #life #dis
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It's true that
music
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 is equally as other
subject
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. A segment of our society believes
music
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 is fresh air are perceptive. While
this
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 offers a few advantages, there are
also
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 some disadvantages which are worth considering. Going with the
first
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 school of through, the
first
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 and predominant reason for suffering the concept is that in some schools'
music
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 is given less importance
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then
conjunction used in comparatives
than
 other
subject
Use synonyms
.
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firstly through
Accept comma addition
Firstly, through
Firstly through
music
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 we get many creative ideas and it relax are the body and release
pressure
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 from the mind.
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as
Suggestion
As
 a result
music
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 will help student's. To release
pressure
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.
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in
Suggestion
In
 addition, students will be having less
pressure
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 on their mind,
hence
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music
Use synonyms
 will be the equal importance as a
subject
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.
Moreover
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, one most convincing point is that cannot be ignored that listening
music
Use synonyms
 on level frequency disorder could occur. Scientific research has revealed that listening
music
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 for a long time its effect on brain and reduce our reasoning ability. If we are listening mild
music
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, it would improve our ability and relax our mind.
Thus
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,
music
Use synonyms
 should be equally important as another
subject
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. In conclusion,
although
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music
Use synonyms
 should be given equal importance as a
subject
Use synonyms
;
however
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,
music
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 is given an important role in others areas and the role of
music
Use synonyms
 in life would be reduced
pressure
Use synonyms
 and stress.
Submitted by naresh on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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