IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Some people believe that children are given too much free time. They feel that this time should be used to do more school work. How do you think children should spend their free time?

#people #children #time #school #work
Childhood is a beautiful period in everyone's lives and every child has a right to enjoy their childhood. During that period, kids are no need to worry about anything, no financial issues, no family responsibilities and no stress. They are innocent, ready to learn about the world. They usually have a
lot
 of free time, even in the primary stage of
education
. Some people think that
this
 should be used to do more school
work
, I completely disagree with them and I will explain why in
this
 essay with an example.
Education
 should be taught in a proper way, so that kids should enjoy learning. Assigning a
lot
 of home
work
 to kids doesn't give any good results. Childhood is very precious for anyone and it is the time that shapes an individual's personality.
Education
 should, in a way that it teaches everything in an interesting way, so that kids learn things with joy and fun. In free time, parents should make kids to play mind games, which improves their intelligence and memory. Playing active games will improve their physical strength. Today's
education
 system will mostly concentrate on the marks and grades, which never decides one's capability. In the race of the ranks, parents and schools are killing the joy of the childhood. Giving a
lot
 home
work
 may put unnecessary stress on kids, which may lead to a Truma or unwillingness on
education
. My uncle's son is a brilliant kid. He started his
education
 two years and that school started giving a
lot
 home
work
 immediately after start.
This
 puts a
lot
 of burden on him and after a few months he is reluctant to study
Submitted by dheerajsudarsanam on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: