IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Many old buildings are protected by law because they are part of a nation’s history. However, some people think they should be knocked down to make way for new ones because people need houses and offices. How important is it to maintain old buildings? Should history stand in the way of progress?

#buildings #law #part #nation’s #history #people #ones #houses #offices #progress
Although
unemployment
 has always existed, it has risen since the
last
 decades, becoming a more relevant social issue, due to a massive people's movement from rural to urban areas, and the growth of technology that replace human skills. Government measures that aim to regulate access to the cities and the promotion of higher education might help mitigate the lack of employment opportunities. The most critical aspects that have boosted
unemployment
 are the
overpopulation
 in cities and technological progress, particularly the higher number of machines in factories.
Firstly
, the more inhabitants in the towns, the far more competitive it is to get a new
job
. Unfortunately, people believe there is a various
job
 offer in great cities, but that has changed. According to an economic report of the World Bank, the
unemployment
 rate in 2019 was three times higher than in 2018, and it was associated mainly with
overpopulation
 in big cities.
Secondly
, it is well-known that the machines not only can perform human tasks, but
also
 even much more efficiently than human beings. For that reason, some car companies
such
 as Ford are producing cars almost totally made by robots.
Consequently
, dozens of employees lost their
job
, showing how technology can negatively affect workers. The most critical aspects that have boosted
unemployment
 are the
overpopulation
 in cities and technological progress, particularly the higher number of machines in factories.
Firstly
, the more inhabitants in the towns, the far more competitive it is to get a new
job
. Unfortunately, people believe there is a various
job
 offer in great cities, but that has changed. According to an economic report of the World Bank, the
unemployment
 rate in 2019 was three times higher than in 2018, and it was associated mainly with
overpopulation
 in big cities.
Secondly
, it is well-known that the machines not only can perform human tasks, but
also
 even much more efficiently than human beings. For that reason, some car companies
such
 as Ford are producing cars almost totally made by robots.
Consequently
, hundreds of employees lost their
job
, showing how technology can negatively affect workers.
Submitted by Alejandro on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: