Education and health care should be funded by the government and free for everyone. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

At present,
education
Correct article usage
the education
show examples
and healthcare system facing
more
Add an article
a more
show examples
challenging time as demands
increased
Wrong verb form
increase
show examples
. From my point of view, I believe, everyone should
able
Add a missing verb
be able
show examples
to obtain an
education
and
health
care facilities at no cost and the regime should allow some financial support to those two sectors that
helps
Change the verb form
help
show examples
the authority to form a strong country.
This
essay
would
Wrong verb form
will
show examples
discuss the several vital reasons why
above
Correct article usage
the above
show examples
idea should come into effect with the relevant explanations and examples.
Firstly
, the major reason behind making
education
and
health
facilities free of cost is to have healthy and educated civilians within the territory.
This
is to say, when
education
is free, everyone would able to send their juveniles to the educational institutes and would have a chance to obtain
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
knowledge
that is
necessary to make
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
bright and secure future. And, if
health
care is free,
person
Add an article
a person
the person
show examples
can able to cure
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a dangerous fitness menace.
Lastly
, with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
free
education
, impoverished folks feel less
burden
Replace the word
burdened
show examples
and
able
Add a missing verb
are able
show examples
to send their children to school
stress free
Add a hyphen
stress-free
show examples
.
As a result
, the rate of poverty declines around the territory which could be the strongest part towards the most successful nation enhancement.
For instance
, a 2016 New York Times
Reports
Fix the agreement mistake
Report
show examples
showed that over 70% population in the United States has been free from major diseases and
well- qualified
Correct your spelling
well-qualified
show examples
.
However
, making everything free to the public, perhaps soars the burden on the political department and
this
might have a detrimental effect on the future of the country which could not
tolerate
Wrong verb form
be tolerated
show examples
.
For example
, the Boston
university
Capitalize word
University
show examples
students did a survey in 2019 in the city and found that 60% of the funding is allocated towards the free
education
and
health
system and its devastating impact
still
Add a missing verb
is still
show examples
in effect around the city. In conclusion, because of
this
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
all
benefits
Correct determiner usage
these benefits
show examples
, the regime should support the
education
and
health
care system financially to make everyone well-qualified as
this
would pay them off in the future.
Submitted by drsefalipatel on

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task response
The essay addresses the topic and presents relevant reasons to support the argument. However, the response is not fully developed and lacks clarity in some areas.
coherence and cohesion
The essay shows a logical structure with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, there are some coherence and cohesion issues which affect the overall flow of ideas.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • fundamental right
  • socioeconomic status
  • equal opportunities
  • financial burden
  • economically disadvantaged
  • public health expenditures
  • workforce
  • economic growth
  • waiting times
  • government budgets
  • financial constraints
  • higher taxes
  • reallocation
  • privatization
  • quality services
  • inequality
  • fulfill responsibility
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