IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Teenagers in some nations work at jobs while they are still in school. Do you think it is a good idea for students to have jobs ? Use specific examples and reasons to explain your answer

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Nowadays
,
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,
 some students
work
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 along with studies. In some countries
,
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,
 it's common practice to start working from an early age.
Although
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,
this
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 tendency may lead to some consequences to their health
,
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,
 some start working from a young
ageage
animal reproductive body consisting of an ovum or embryo together with nutritive and protective envelopes; especially the thin-shelled reproductive body laid by e.g. female birds
egg
.
First
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 and foremost
,
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,
 being occupied with
work
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 is
good usage
Suggestion
a good use
good use
 of extra
time
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 for students.
Secondly
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, it teaches them to take more responsibility
,
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,
 managing finances and
time
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 management.
Moreover
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, an additional source of income reduces the burden the monetary burden of their family.
In addition
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 to
this
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,
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,
 jobs open new doors to connect and network with new people.
Also
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, it helps youngsters learn the value of money from a young
ageage
animal reproductive body consisting of an ovum or embryo together with nutritive and protective envelopes; especially the thin-shelled reproductive body laid by e.g. female birds
egg
. To illustrate, when they
work
Use synonyms
 hard to purchase something, they plan and budget it before hand.
On the other hand
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,
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,
 working while studying has its de-merits too. To commence with
,
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,
 it can distract students from their studies.
For example
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, some teenagers leave their studies in order to earn more money early which can have adverse effects later in life.
Furthermore
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, an added pressure of handling both study and
work
Use synonyms
,
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,
 can lead to various mental and physical health issues from an early age.
Also
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,
Accept space
,
 working students have less or no
time
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 for recreational activities. To sum up, working along with studies certainly helps teenagers to build a foundation for life. At the same
time
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 it's important for children to enjoy and experience their youth.

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Your opinion

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If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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