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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

low cost airlines let people travel around the world. some say it is positive, others say it is negative. discuss both view and give your own opinion

#cost #airlines #people #travel #world #say
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It has become increasingly common that the accessibility of low-cost
airlines
 nowadays makes it easier for citizens to take the journey to all corners of the world. Before rendering my position, it is essential to explore both sides of the hot issue. On the one hand,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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more frequent
traveling
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travelling
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 is one of the major causes of environmental damage, especially air pollution. The more people flying by
aeroplane
Fix the agreement mistake
aeroplanes
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, the more severe the consequences of ozone players are.
According to
 some recent research, it has been shown that when an
airplane
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aeroplane
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 flies, it releases a huge number of carbon dioxide which ruin significantly affects the structure of horizon layers.
In addition
, the growing of high demand in terms of travelling by
airplane
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aeroplane
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 can
also
 result in unbalance in means of transport. As it offers a more reasonable price for airing
trip
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trips
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 which attracts many people, it obviously leads to an economic decline of other forms of transport.
On the other hand
, despite the drawbacks of low-cost
airlines
, it definitely still has some certain advantages.
To begin
 with, one positive aspect of
this
 development is the increased accessibility of movement. In the past, air tour was mainly reserved for the wealthy and the middle class,
however
, with the advance of low-cost
airlines
, people coming from all walks of life will be
affordable
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able
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 to mark their steps
on
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in
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 more places with ease.
Furthermore
, the accessibility of cheap-cost
airplanes
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aeroplanes
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 is a key to
promote
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promoting
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 globalization. Other countries around the world can easily connect through
convenient
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the convenient
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 air
travelling
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travel
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 industry .
As a result
, the increase of low-cost
airlines
 can be considered as a flexible transport that accommodates our
ever- changing
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ever-changing
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 logistic demand. In conclusion, a cheap plane ticket has its benefits and drawbacks as it not only serves as a convenient choice for travelling but
also
 opens the opportunity for cross-cultural exchange between regions.
Submitted by huyentrang712 on

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General
Try to provide more concrete examples to strengthen your arguments.
Grammar
Carefully proofread your essay to correct minor grammatical errors and improve clarity.
Coherence & Cohesion
To enhance clarity and cohesion, make sure transitions between paragraphs and sentences are smooth and logical.
Task Achievement
In discussing both views, ensure you're presenting both sides equally before giving your opinion.
Structure
You provided a well-structured argument discussing both sides of the issue.
Introduction & Conclusion
Your introduction and conclusion were clear and effectively framed your discussion.
Content Understanding
You've managed to explore the complexities of the topic, showing an understanding of the subject matter.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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