IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Discipline is an ever increasing problem in modern schools. Some people think that discipline should be the responsibility of teachers, while others think that this is the role of parents. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#discipline #schools #people #responsibility #teachers #role #parents
Discipline is the foundation of the human race. It is often debated that who is responsible to establish regulation among children, teachers or parents.
This
 essay will argue both pros and cons of the responsibility towards the discipline of the kids. The children
initially sees
Suggestion
initially see
are initially seen
 the world through the eyes of their parents. They spend a majority of growing years with their mothers and fathers. The pupil
imitate
Suggestion
imitates
 their parents while developing skills like walking, holding toys, eating habits.
For example
, if a parent is an early riser
then
 he/she will
also
 become the same eventually. The teachers are role model for the children. In the modern school, strength of the learners per classroom in 30 approximately. It is physically impossible for a facilitator to give attention to individual
.
Accept space
.
 Teachers can act as a scaffolding to pupil in shaping their behaviour. As per a survey conducted by middle school, 95% of the students were regulated by following their
parents
Suggestion
parents'
 footprints. The global world has forced most of the
parent
Suggestion
parents
ot
expresses position, direction or location, or point in time
at
or
to
stary
stay the same; remain in a certain state
stay
 out of home to ear the living. Due to
whichh
interrogative pronoun, used both substantively and adjectivally, and in direct and indirect questions, to ask for, or refer to, an individual person or thing among several of a class
which
,
childrens
a young person of either sex
children
 are
foced
produced by or subjected to forcing
forced
faced
fused
 to
dependent
Suggestion
depend
 up on
childcarer
a service involving care for other people's children
childcare
.
However
, it is
duty
Suggestion
the duty
a duty
 of parents to direct the child in the correct direction.
Alongwith
Suggestion
Along with
 child will be able to learn
living
Suggestion
to live
 controlled life under guidance of the parents far
easiliy
with ease ('easy' is sometimes used informally for 'easily')
easily
.
Such
 as, Elon Musk has become
successful entrepreneur
Suggestion
a successful entrepreneur
 by following his mother's footsteps. In
conclcusion
a position or opinion or judgment reached after consideration
conclusion
conclusions
, I completely disagree that it is alone teacher's duty to command kids.
Nevertheless it
Accept comma addition
Nevertheless, it
 should be
parents responsibility
Suggestion
the parents' responsibility
parents' responsibility
parent's responsibility
 to discipline pupil.
Submitted by Jigar on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: