The chart below shows the results of a survey about people's coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The chart below shows the results of a survey about people's coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities. 

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
It is argued that in several states, having a
house
is more important than renting it.
This
essay
believes that having a
house
prompts better security of tenure, and
this
essay
thinks that
this
is a positive
development
, as tenure security is crucial to ensure the well-being of residents. By owning a
house
, people are more likely to have better levels of housing security.
While
many believe renting a
home
is significantly cheaper, the additional cost which someone is paying to own a
home
is pivotal in providing a secure, well-protected
home
.
This
is because full ownership of a
home
means higher levels of legal status, which could be very crucial to secure residents' well-being in the future.
For instance
, many Indonesian citizens prefer to borrow money with high interest rates from banks in order to buy homes, rather than just renting them.
This
is because they believe by owning a
home
, they will have a more secure
home
for their future. A more positive outlook towards buying a
house
than renting it is a positive
development
because
this
means better legal protection for residents. Several countries,
such
as Indonesia, do not have any legal provisions regarding
house
renting,
as a result
, most renters are in a very precarious state.
That is
to say, having a
house
serves as one of the measures to protect people from having to deal with
such
situations. Even at times when relocation is inevitable, owning a
house
could mean better compensation.
For example
, in Indonesia, when houses are going to be demolished for infrastructure
development
,
individuals
with full legal entitlement over their houses are entitled to a higher compensation price compared to those who do not have full ownership over their houses.
To conclude
,
this
essay
thinks the phenomenon in which many
individuals
prefer owning a
home
rather than renting one happens because numerous
individuals
are trying to secure their housing rights.
This
essay
believes that
this
is a positive
development
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because
this
could protect
individuals
' rights over their
house
and well-being.
Submitted by aribawadzaki on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "such".
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the first paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Vocabulary: Replace the words house, essay, development, home, individuals with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the first paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • survey
  • coffee
  • tea
  • buying habits
  • drinking habits
  • Australian cities
  • consumption
  • respondents
  • regular
  • participants
  • levels
  • observed
  • popular
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