IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

People are wearing same clothes following same culture. Do you agree with this trend? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

#people #clothes #culture #trend
Nowadays, people tend to
mimick
constituting an imitation
mimic
 a particular
culture
 in their dressing. I totally disagree with
this
 trend because the
culture
 mimicking another will lose identity gradually, and the economy will
also
 suffer
loss
. To start with, there will be
culture
loss
 when uniformity in dressing is practised. Due to the fact a particular
people's
Suggestion
person's
 attire now depict a different group's, the indigenous, especially the younger generations might not have a knowledge of their own dressing.
As a result
, a total
loss
 of
culture
 may be experienced.
Moreover
, their original attire might become awkward and unacceptable in the future.
For instance
, the Ijaw people, who currently dress like the British, how see a man tying wrapper as an unimaginable act.
Although
 it was formerly their tradition, but it has now been lost. Another point to consider is that, embracing a
culture
 will result in economic
loss
.
This
 will make a number artisans, especially those producing local attire, become redundant.
Consequently
, there is
gradual decline
Suggestion
a gradual decline
 in the income of the state and eventually a critical diminution. To illustrate, the amount realised by the Matori community has decreased drastically since they changed their mode of dressing into a foreign one.
Therefore
, amalgamation of
culture
 is detrimental to the revenue of the state imbibing the new way of dressing. In conclusion,
although
 there is uniformity in the dressings being experienced today, I completely disagree with the trend because of the downsides associated with it.
Submitted by Mabel on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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