IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people argue that arts, such as paintings and music, are a waste of money and the government should spend this money on other public services. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Nowadays
people
Use synonyms
 are concerned
about
Change preposition
that
show examples
 the
government
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was
Wrong verb form
is
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 wasting
money
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 on
Use synonyms
arts
Correct article usage
the arts
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 and they
are thinking
Wrong verb form
think
show examples
 that
this
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money
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 should have
invested
Add a missing verb
been invested
show examples
 in
peoples'
Change noun form
people's
show examples
 welfare. In my opinion, I completely agree with the above statement that the
government
Use synonyms
 is wasting
money
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 on paintings and
music
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.
However
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, at the same time, others think that
government
Use synonyms
 will allocate funds to the
arts
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.
This
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 essay will discuss how the
government
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 is wasting
money
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 on the
arts
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.
Firstly
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, it is likely most of the citizens feel that the
government
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 spending too much
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
money
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 on cultural activities,
such
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 as paintings,
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music
Correct word choice
and music
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 but the
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government
Change noun form
government's
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 primary job is to provide common services,
such
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 as food, houses, transport,
sport
Change the noun form
sports
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 facilities, parks,
community
Correct word choice
and community
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 halls.
For example
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,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
some countries
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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are not economically better still they are spending huge
amount
Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
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 of
money
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 on conducting
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
international
event
Fix the agreement mistake
events
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 like the football
world cup
Correct your spelling
World Cup
show examples
 and hosting Olympic events etc.
This
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 type of unnecessary spending will impact the countries' economic growth. So
that is
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 the reason,
people
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thinking
Wrong verb form
think
show examples
 that the
government
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 wasting public resources.
On the other hand
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, some
people
Use synonyms
 advised that spending
money
Use synonyms
 on the
arts
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,
such
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 as painting and
music
Use synonyms
 will give individuals to show their talent on a global platform. Which eventually
increase
Correct subject-verb agreement
increases
show examples
country's
Correct article usage
the country's
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 popularity
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
world wide
Correct your spelling
worldwide
show examples
.
In addition
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, the country got recognition all over the world. And
people
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also
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 not
getting
Wrong verb form
get
show examples
 bored doing the same kind of work every day. If the
government
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 train
people
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on
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
painting and
conducting
Wrong verb form
conducts
show examples
 free
music
Use synonyms
 classes, the
people
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 will come to
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this class
Fix the agreement mistake
these classes
show examples
 will learn the art of
music
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. So
that is
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 the reason, some
people
Use synonyms
 disagree with
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the
government
Use synonyms
 wasting
money
Use synonyms
 on cultural activities. In conclusion, it is likely most
people
Use synonyms
 agree that the
government
Use synonyms
 spending huge
money
Use synonyms
 on cultural events. In my opinion, I completely agree with the
government
Use synonyms
 wasting
money
Use synonyms
 on the
arts
Use synonyms
. Still, some
people
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 believe that the
government
Use synonyms
 giving inspiration to the
people
Use synonyms
 to learn the
arts
Use synonyms
.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on one main idea and supports it with relevant examples and explanations.
task achievement
Provide more specific and clear examples to support your arguments. Make sure your ideas are clearly presented and respond directly to the essay prompt.
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