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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The number of older people is increasing. Some people think it will cause problems in their countries, others believe this group is important to the society. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #countries #group #society
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Some people argue that many countries might have problems with increasing number of elderly people, while others opine that elders have a major role in the
society
Use synonyms
.
This
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 essay would argue that even though
increasing number
Suggestion
an increasing number
increasing numbers
 of older people causes strain on the pension and health care system, they have a very important role in guiding the
society
Use synonyms
. Many would argue that
increasing number
Suggestion
an increasing number
 of elderly people can affect the pension and health care system in a negative way, as they are not working; government needs to support them for their daily needs and health.
This
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 causes the state to spend large amounts of money on elderly people. A survey conducted by Victoria University in 2018 found that the longevity of elder people in Australia has increased and they constitute about 30% of the population.
This
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 would cost a lot to the state.
On the other hand
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,
this
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 essay argues that despite the strain the elderly population puts on the government, elders have a major role in shaping the
society
Use synonyms
. Elder people have ample
experience
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 and can guide youngsters during crucial situations / a crucial situation. In professions like teaching and medicine an experienced hand can always give better suggestions than a youngster with few years of
experience
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. So older people can contribute to the
society
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 and help in shaping it.
For instance
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, during the time of emergency surgery, doctors always consult with seniors who have better
experience
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 and who can suggest the best surgical plan.
Hence
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, even though elders are
unemployed they
Accept comma addition
unemployed, they
 can act as a guide or an expert to resolve problems and shape the
society
Use synonyms
. To conclude, it is argued that
longevity
Suggestion
the longevity
 of elder people cause issues
to
Suggestion
in
 the state, but I believe that the elderly are an important part of the
society
Use synonyms
 especially during crucial times for guiding youngsters with their
experience
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by Sanket Patel on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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