Today more people are overweight than ever before. What in your opinion are the primary causes of this? What measures can be taken to overcome this epidemic?

#people #measures #epidemic

Nowadays its obvious to see more obese people around

second person pronoun; the person addressed

you

then

conjunction used in comparatives

than

before.

Main reason

Suggestion

The main reason

for

this

is the

junk

food

; to

control

this

epidemic people

Accept comma addition

epidemic, people

must follow diet restrictions in their daily routine.

Suggestion

essay

this

the writer will discuss the causes and measures and how to

control

this

disease in

future

Suggestion

the future

Firstandforemost

, obesity is overtaking all over the

world it

Accept comma addition

world, it

has no border restrictions

Accept space

now the major concern for many countries is to keep people fit

Accept space

it is a debatable issue for many countries around the world. The primary reason for obese is the fast

food

industry many people switching to fast

food

due to lack of time people working to make materialistic things rather than healthy living to keep themselves fit,

this

is because of their work schedule wont letting them to eat healthy cook healthy due to tiredness form working long hours and couldn’t make health

food

switching to

instant

food

that contains rich in fat.

Government

Suggestion

The government

should ban

instant

food

to keep away from the people, they are who can ensure things and

control

to being available in the market, it is necessary now to avoid people from

junk

and switch them to organic

food

For example

Accept space

- many countries are now putting up heavy taxes on the

food

that are

instant

and trying to supersede with organic

Accept space

they are

also

sending flyers to educate people how fatal it can be to eat

junk

food

. Most of the people are shifting towards

healthy diet

Suggestion

a healthy diet

now

Suggestion

Now

government

Suggestion

the government

has released app

Suggestion

has released an app

to have proper plan what to eat, eat healthy live healthy app that gives

second person pronoun; the person addressed

you

update every four hours what to eat. These measures can

control

obese

Suggestion

obesity

Suggestion

conclusion

Accept space

- people are shifting to

junk

because of

busy work schedule

Suggestion

a busy work schedule

not taking

effort

Suggestion

the effort

to cook healthy

food

due to tiredness from work, swiftly moving toward easily available

instant

foods.

however

Suggestion

However

Suggestion

government

Suggestion

the government

can put effort in

food industry

Suggestion

the food industry

by placing heavy taxes switching organic cheap and easily accessible

food

for their people. To avoid fatal diseases that caused by obesity could be controlled by installing serious measures enforce by ruling government.

Submitted by mohammedsamad1894 on Thu Aug 06 2020

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
27Grammar mistakes
 

2 paragraphs

354 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Today more people are overweight than ever before. What in your opinion are the primary causes of this? What measures can be taken to overcome this epidemic?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Nowadays celebrities earn more money than politicians. What are the reasons for this?. Do you agree or disagree

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

The internet is a good source of information and opened up opportunities for people all over the world. Is all information reliable online?What could be done to control information online? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.