Today more people are overweight than ever before. What in your opinion are the primary causes of this? What measures can be taken to overcome this epidemic?

#people #measures #epidemic

Nowadays its obvious to see more obese people around

second person pronoun; the person addressed

you

then

conjunction used in comparatives

than

before.

Main reason

Suggestion

The main reason

for

this

is the

junk

food

; to

control

this

epidemic people

Accept comma addition

epidemic, people

must follow diet restrictions in their daily routine.

Suggestion

essay

this

the writer will discuss the causes and measures and how to

control

this

disease in

future

Suggestion

the future

Firstandforemost

, obesity is overtaking all over the

world it

Accept comma addition

world, it

has no border restrictions

Accept space

now the major concern for many countries is to keep people fit

Accept space

it is a debatable issue for many countries around the world. The primary reason for obese is the fast

food

industry many people switching to fast

food

due to lack of time people working to make materialistic things rather than healthy living to keep themselves fit,

this

is because of their work schedule wont letting them to eat healthy cook healthy due to tiredness form working long hours and couldn’t make health

food

switching to

instant

food

that contains rich in fat.

Government

Suggestion

The government

should ban

instant

food

to keep away from the people, they are who can ensure things and

control

to being available in the market, it is necessary now to avoid people from

junk

and switch them to organic

food

For example

Accept space

- many countries are now putting up heavy taxes on the

food

that are

instant

and trying to supersede with organic

Accept space

they are

also

sending flyers to educate people how fatal it can be to eat

junk

food

. Most of the people are shifting towards

healthy diet

Suggestion

a healthy diet

now

Suggestion

Now

government

Suggestion

the government

has released app

Suggestion

has released an app

to have proper plan what to eat, eat healthy live healthy app that gives

second person pronoun; the person addressed

you

update every four hours what to eat. These measures can

control

obese

Suggestion

obesity

Suggestion

conclusion

Accept space

- people are shifting to

junk

because of

busy work schedule

Suggestion

a busy work schedule

not taking

effort

Suggestion

the effort

to cook healthy

food

due to tiredness from work, swiftly moving toward easily available

instant

foods.

however

Suggestion

However

Suggestion

government

Suggestion

the government

can put effort in

food industry

Suggestion

the food industry

by placing heavy taxes switching organic cheap and easily accessible

food

for their people. To avoid fatal diseases that caused by obesity could be controlled by installing serious measures enforce by ruling government.

Submitted by mohammedsamad1894 on Thu Aug 06 2020

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS writing?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
27Grammar mistakes
 

2 paragraphs

354 words

4.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4.5
band
Universities should enrol equal numbers of male and female students in all subjects. Do you agree or disagree?
The gender inequality is a big of an issue nowadays at the universities. People claim that universities should be pressured to equally split the avilable vacant applications among females and males in all majors. It is my contention that although gender discrimination is a real thing that can be come acrossed in certain circumstances, universities must select their candidates according to their IQ, logic and previous grades to make judgement process as transparent as possible.
4
band
Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
In the modern day, it has become easier to travel and live in another country. Some argue that moving to a non-native country creates many social concerns, along with pragmatic issues. In my opinion, I fully agree with this viewpoint.
8
band
Your friend has been offered a place on a course at the university where you studied. He/She would like your advice about finding a place to live Write an email to your friend. In your email 1)Describe where you lived when you were a student at the university 2)Recommend the best way for him/her to look for accommodation 3)Warn him/her of mistakes students make when choosing accommodation Write at least 150 words You do NOT need to write any address Begin your letter as follows Dear,
I am so glad to hear from you after a long time. I felt extremely happy when I got to know that you are going to study at the same institution where I completed my course.
5.5
band
In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in.
In some countries, there is a growing interest among people in tracing the history of their homes. I think they research this for many reasons, perhaps out of interest, or to find a sense of connection. For help with finding answers, they should turn to the seniors in their neighborhoods.
7.5
band
Nowadays, many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantage of being self-employed?
Working either for yourself or for a governmental employer is essential to make money and meet your needs. Regarding this fact, the majority of people prefer to be self-employed instead of working for a company or organisation. The aforementioned choice has some reasons as well as merits and demerits that I am going to describe in the following.

Today more people are overweight than ever before. What in your opinion are the primary causes of this? What measures can be taken to overcome this epidemic?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Universities should enrol equal numbers of male and female students in all subjects. Do you agree or disagree?

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in.

Nowadays, many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantage of being self-employed?