IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some people believe that eventually all jobs will be done done by artificially intelligent robots..What is your opinion?

#people #jobs #robots
The advancement in the
technology
 makes the people believe that sooner all the jobs would be replaced by the robots. In my
opinion there
Accept comma addition
opinion, there
 is no doubt that artificial intelligence has
replace
Suggestion
replaced
 the
workforce but
Accept comma addition
workforce, but
 it cannot be completely replaced by the robots. I will elaborate my opinion in the below paragraphs. To start with, there is no doubt that the
technology
 has expending its arms in each and every field whether it would be a hospitality, medical,
ecommerce
Suggestion
eCommerce
commerce
, transportation and airlines. By
this
, the
technology
 has replaced the few
workforce
 in many
fields but
Accept comma addition
fields, but
 still robots are
also
 handled by the human. Let's take a very simple example of
computer
Suggestion
a computer
.
Initially all
Accept comma addition
Initially, all
 the
work
 in offices like hotels,
hospitals and
Accept comma addition
hospitals, and
airprts
an airfield equipped with control tower and hangars as well as accommodations for passengers and cargo
airports
 used to be done manually and for that the large
workforce
 need to be put in the field. So after arriving the computers, the hospitals can easily fetch the data from
computer
Suggestion
a computer
the computer
 with the help of only one person, no one need to find the files and put the files back and arrange them. To continue with, lets take a recent example of automatic washing machines.
in
Suggestion
In
 the past days two to three people used to wash the clothes by hands and used to spend 2-3 hours on that and now for the same
work
 we need one person to operate the machine. So it does not completely replace the
work
force but
Accept comma addition
force, but
 reduced the numbers. To conclude, the artificial intelligence
make
Suggestion
makes
 the life easier and
confortable but
Accept comma addition
comfortable, but
comfortable but
 it cannot
work
 without human interference. In my opinion, the
technology
 cannot completely reduce the
workforce
, it makes the life easier.
Submitted by shaveta153 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: