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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

some people think that is better to educate boys and girls in separate school. other, however , belive that they should be taught in mixed schools. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

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The education issue always brings different opinions and discussions. Some
people
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 believe that it is better to educate
boys
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 and
girls
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 in separate
schools
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, another group thinks that we should teach them in the same school. Both views are worth discussing
,
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;
show examples
however
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, I think
boys
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 and
girls
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 should be taught and educated in mixed
schools
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. One reason why some
people
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 support separate
schools
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 is that
students
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 may be able to concentrate better. In some cases,
boys
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 and
girls
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 may feel distracted when they study together, especially during their teenage years. If they are taught separately, they may focus more on their studies and feel less pressure from the opposite sex.
In addition
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, teachers may be able to use different teaching methods
according to
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students
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’ needs.
For example
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, if
boys
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 and
girls
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 have different learning styles or levels of confidence in certain subjects, separate
schools
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 may provide a more suitable learning environment.
On the other hand
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, I believe mixed
schools
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 are more beneficial in the long term.
This
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 is because
boys
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 and
girls
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 will need to communicate and cooperate with each other in university, the workplace and daily life. If they study together from a young age, they can learn how to respect different opinions and build healthy relationships with
people
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 of different genders.
For example
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, group projects in mixed
schools
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 can help
students
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 develop communication skills and teamwork.
Therefore
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,
although
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 separate
schools
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 may reduce distractions, mixed
schools
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 can better prepare
students
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 for real life. In conclusion, both separate
schools
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 and mixed
schools
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 have their own advantages. Separate
schools
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 may help
students
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 concentrate better, but I believe mixed
schools
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 are more beneficial
overall
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 because they help young
people
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 develop communication skills and learn how to cooperate with
people
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 of different genders.
Therefore
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, mixed
schools
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 can better prepare
students
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 for real life.

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task response
Write a clearer answer to both sides. Your view is clear, but the side for separate schools needs a little more detail.
task response
Add one more specific example to support your ideas. This will make your points stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas more smoothly with simple words like also, however, because, and for example.
coherence and cohesion
Try not to repeat the same idea in the conclusion and body in the same way.
task response
You answered both views and gave your own opinion clearly.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, body, and end.
coherence and cohesion
Most ideas are easy to follow.
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