The first smartphone was released in 1992. By then year 2020 there may be as many as 2.5 billion smartphones in the world. The use of smartphones is decreasing our collective intelligence because we are reliant on the technology and not our own minds. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

We live in a world where
smartphones
have become an integral part of daily life
,
Accept space
,
and over the years the dependency on these devices became a reality
.
Accept space
.
Personally i
Accept comma addition
Personally, I
Personally I
partly agree with the argument that the use of
smartphones
is playing a big role in the
reliancy
certainty based on past experience
reliance
on the technology and decrease the dependency on our
mind
  On the one hand
,
Accept space
,
smartphones
bring
Suggestion
brings
many benefits regarding how to get the information easily and in the fastest way
with
Suggestion
to
access to
internet
Suggestion
the internet
almost all the time
.
Accept space
.
Therefore
, the human brain has more access to
significant amount
Suggestion
a significant amount
significant amounts
of data
.
Accept space
.
For example
, if someone wants to search the history of a
definite
Suggestion
defining
era in the human life
,
Accept space
,
he will get that piece of information very easily
.
Accept space
.
Because of all the aforementioned human intellectual has become more
broadend
bearing a heavy burden of work or difficulties or responsibilities
burdened
.
Accept space
.
On the other hand
,
Accept space
,
the daily use of
smartphones
has bring
Suggestion
has brought
laziness and dependency on these gadgets making people do not exert any effort to remember or rely on their
mind
.
Accept space
.
For example
,
Accept space
,
there are a lot of times when we use the calculator on our
smartphones
to do
Suggestion
doing
a very simple calculation, and when we try to remember any information about any subject we directly ask for the help from google
.
Accept space
.
In conclusion
,
Accept space
,
although
smartphones
has become
Suggestion
have become
a great assistance to our
mind
,
Accept space
,
it shouldn't make us more dependent on their help
.
Accept space
.
So we can have a full benefit
fron
a giver or sender
from
our great
mind
Submitted by Amr Elkady on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • collective intelligence
  • reliant on technology
  • problem-solving
  • problem-solving
  • cognitive skills
  • critical thinking
  • knowledge acquisition
  • connectivity
  • knowledge sharing
  • cognitive overload
  • memory retention
  • brain-training apps
  • digital literacy
  • multitask
  • attention span
What to do next:
Look at other essays: