IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people say that in all levels of education from primary schools to universities too much time is spent on learning facts and not enough on learning practical skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #levels #education #schools #universities #time #facts #skills
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When it comes to public
education
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, some
people
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 argue that
obviousely
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obviously
, all the
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childrun
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children
 who will go through
this
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education
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 from primary
school
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 to
universities
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university
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required
Wrong verb form
require
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very
Add an article
a very
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 long
period
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 of
time
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 and can not find any practical technology after they leave
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
school
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.
Meanwhile
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Meanwhile,
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 others dispute that
this
Linking Words
education
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 is very crucial to
develeop
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develop
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childrun’s
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children’s
 basic
education
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 from socialization to
knowledge
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.
Overall
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,
this
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 writing will deal with the
advantage
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advantages
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 of
education
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.
To begin
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 with, childhood is known as
very
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the very
a very
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 significant
period
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 for
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childrun
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children
. And
this
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 is very crucial timing to build their
skills
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 after they enter society.
As for the
Change preposition
The
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 system of
education
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 which
have
Wrong verb form
has been
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 maintained
more
Change preposition
for more
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 than a couple of centuries
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 verified that
how
Rephrase
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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education
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of
Change preposition
at
show examples
school
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 is important.
Obviousely
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Obviously
 most of
great
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the great
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man
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men
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 in
the
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apply
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history have gone through
this
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all
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all-education
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education
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 process.
The
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Education
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education
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 directly proved that
the
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apply
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mankind
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 thrived with
education
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. All the splendid theories have
builded
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built
show examples
 with timid basic
knowledge
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 which we learn from elementary
school
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. It seems any background
knowledge
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 is very easy from primary
school
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 so
this
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 is
treates
Correct your spelling
treated
 as ignorable
knowdge
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knowledge
,
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however
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however,
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 all
people
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 who are engaging job should have
this
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 basic
knowledge
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.
Furthermore
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, aside from
acquisition
Add an article
the acquisition
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 of academic purposes, when the
Use synonyms
childrun
Correct your spelling
children
 go through
this
Linking Words
 long
period
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 of
education
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, they can learn all most of
basic
Correct article usage
the basic
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behavior
Replace the word
behavioural
show examples
skills
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. In
the
Correct article usage
apply
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childhood,
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school
Add an article
the school
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 will be
optimal
Add an article
an optimal
the optimal
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 environment
of
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for
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 building
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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social
skills
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. They go out of their parent’s protection and meet various
people
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. From there they can acquire how to behave and communicate with other
people
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.
Furthermore
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, being on
time
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 at
school
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 and
timetable based
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timetable-based
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 system
enhance
Add the particle
to enhance
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the
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apply
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time
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 management skill and regular activity. And getting
assignment
Fix the agreement mistake
assignments
show examples
 will instruct how the
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childrun
Correct your spelling
children
 treat the study themselves.
Meanwhile
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Meanwhile,
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 there is some drawback of
long
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long-period
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period
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education
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.
Firstly
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 the
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childrun
Correct your spelling
child
 is made to be significantly
uniformed
Replace the word
uniform
show examples
. From
this
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education
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system
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system,
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 they will only learn academic
skills
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 which is not practical
knowledge
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 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society. Considering the rate of entering university, some countries rate under 50% which directly means that other
people
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are required
Wrong verb form
require
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 more practical
skills
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 for their livelihood and
long
Add an article
a long
the long
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period
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 of academic
knowledge
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 can not suffice their practical job
skills
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.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the curriculum of
Use synonyms
school
Correct article usage
the school
show examples
 only focused on
academic based
Add a hyphen
academic-based
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 acquisition.
Which
Correct pronoun usage
This
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 means
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
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can
Verb problem
do
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 not have sufficient
time
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 to explore
experience
Fix the agreement mistake
experiences
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over
Change preposition
in
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schools
Fix the agreement mistake
school
show examples
. Eventually, as mentioned,
people
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’s taste,sense of value,
thought
Correct word choice
and thought
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 is
builted
Correct your spelling
built
 in the very same way.
To sum up
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,
Basically
Add a comma
Basically,
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the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
education
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enhance
Change the verb form
enhances
show examples
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childrun’s
Correct your spelling
children’s
 lifetime very
adundant
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abundant
redundant
. They can be socialized from
school
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however
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this
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 way of
academic based
Add a hyphen
academic-based
show examples
education
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 will produce the very
some
Correct your spelling
same
show examples
 person.
Submitted by Choi Sugyeong on

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • rote memorization
  • practical skills
  • adaptable skills
  • critical thinking
  • balanced approach
  • problem-solving
  • decision-making
  • workforce readiness
  • real-life challenges
  • technological advancements
  • information management
  • creativity hindrance
  • lifelong learning
  • skill development
What to do next:
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