Some people say that in all levels of education from primary schools to universities too much time is spent on learning facts and not enough on learning practical skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

When it comes to public
education
, some
people
argue that
obviousely
Correct your spelling
obviously
, all the
childrun
Correct your spelling
children
who will go through
this
education
from primary
school
to
universities
Fix the agreement mistake
university
show examples
required
Wrong verb form
require
show examples
very
Add an article
a very
show examples
long
period
of
time
and can not find any practical technology after they leave
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
school
.
Meanwhile
Add a comma
Meanwhile,
show examples
others dispute that
this
education
is very crucial to
develeop
Correct your spelling
develop
childrun’s
Correct your spelling
children’s
basic
education
from socialization to
knowledge
.
Overall
,
this
writing will deal with the
advantage
Fix the agreement mistake
advantages
show examples
of
education
.
To begin
with, childhood is known as
very
Add an article
the very
a very
show examples
significant
period
for
childrun
Correct your spelling
children
. And
this
is very crucial timing to build their
skills
after they enter society.
As for the
Change preposition
The
show examples
system of
education
which
have
Wrong verb form
has been
show examples
maintained
more
Change preposition
for more
show examples
than a couple of centuries
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
verified that
how
Rephrase
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
education
of
Change preposition
at
show examples
school
is important.
Obviousely
Correct your spelling
Obviously
most of
great
Add an article
the great
show examples
man
Fix the agreement mistake
men
show examples
in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
history have gone through
this
all
Add a hyphen
all-education
show examples
education
process.
The
Correct article usage
Education
show examples
education
directly proved that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
mankind
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
thrived with
education
. All the splendid theories have
builded
Correct your spelling
built
show examples
with timid basic
knowledge
which we learn from elementary
school
. It seems any background
knowledge
is very easy from primary
school
so
this
is
treates
Correct your spelling
treated
as ignorable
knowdge
Correct your spelling
knowledge
,
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
all
people
who are engaging job should have
this
basic
knowledge
.
Furthermore
, aside from
acquisition
Add an article
the acquisition
show examples
of academic purposes, when the
childrun
Correct your spelling
children
go through
this
long
period
of
education
, they can learn all most of
basic
Correct article usage
the basic
show examples
behavior
Replace the word
behavioural
show examples
skills
. In
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
childhood,
school
Add an article
the school
show examples
will be
optimal
Add an article
an optimal
the optimal
show examples
environment
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
building
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
social
skills
. They go out of their parent’s protection and meet various
people
. From there they can acquire how to behave and communicate with other
people
.
Furthermore
, being on
time
at
school
and
timetable based
Add a hyphen
timetable-based
show examples
system
enhance
Add the particle
to enhance
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time
management skill and regular activity. And getting
assignment
Fix the agreement mistake
assignments
show examples
will instruct how the
childrun
Correct your spelling
children
treat the study themselves.
Meanwhile
Add a comma
Meanwhile,
show examples
there is some drawback of
long
Add a hyphen
long-period
show examples
period
education
.
Firstly
the
childrun
Correct your spelling
child
is made to be significantly
uniformed
Replace the word
uniform
show examples
. From
this
education
system
Add a comma
system,
show examples
they will only learn academic
skills
which is not practical
knowledge
in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society. Considering the rate of entering university, some countries rate under 50% which directly means that other
people
are required
Wrong verb form
require
show examples
more practical
skills
for their livelihood and
long
Add an article
a long
the long
show examples
period
of academic
knowledge
can not suffice their practical job
skills
.
Furthermore
, the curriculum of
school
Correct article usage
the school
show examples
only focused on
academic based
Add a hyphen
academic-based
show examples
acquisition.
Which
Correct pronoun usage
This
show examples
means
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
can
Verb problem
do
show examples
not have sufficient
time
to explore
experience
Fix the agreement mistake
experiences
show examples
over
Change preposition
in
show examples
schools
Fix the agreement mistake
school
show examples
. Eventually, as mentioned,
people
’s taste,sense of value,
thought
Correct word choice
and thought
show examples
is
builted
Correct your spelling
built
in the very same way.
To sum up
,
Basically
Add a comma
Basically,
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
education
enhance
Change the verb form
enhances
show examples
childrun’s
Correct your spelling
children’s
lifetime very
adundant
Correct your spelling
abundant
redundant
. They can be socialized from
school
however
this
way of
academic based
Add a hyphen
academic-based
show examples
education
will produce the very
some
Correct your spelling
same
show examples
person.
Submitted by Choi Sugyeong on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • rote memorization
  • practical skills
  • adaptable skills
  • critical thinking
  • balanced approach
  • problem-solving
  • decision-making
  • workforce readiness
  • real-life challenges
  • technological advancements
  • information management
  • creativity hindrance
  • lifelong learning
  • skill development
What to do next:
Look at other essays: