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Writing Samples
Band 5

The number of overweight children in developed countries is increasing. Some people think this is due to problems such as the growing number of fast food outlets. Others believe that parents are to blame for not looking after their children's health. To what extent do you agree with these views?

#children #countries #people #food #outlets #parents #health
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Childhood obesity is increasingly becoming an issue of concern in
developed
Suggestion
developing
 nations. While it is believed by many that the cause of
this
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 is the growth of fast
food
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 centres, others argue that the guardians of affected children should be held responsible for
this
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 challenge. I completely agree that parents are accountable for the health of their wards, and that excessive availability of junk
food
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 is a contributory factor.
Firstly
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, in large and busy cities, the sales of unhealthy quick meals have become rampant, which has resulted in regression of access to healthy
food
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.
In other words
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, due to the needs of the population, homemade
food
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 is considered a waste of time because junks are handy and can be eaten anywhere.
For instance
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, in my hometown, is not easy to come by.
In addition
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,
although
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 the fast
food
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 business is very lucrative
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this days
Suggestion
these days
this day
, I believe it is the duty of parents to ensure their kids eat healthy
food
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. Due to their busy schedules, most of them give their offsprings readily available meals, which results in excessive weight gain. A typical example is a student I know. His parents, who are extremely busy people, fill his lunch bag with doughnuts, cake, and sugary drinks. I would blame the parent in
this
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 scenario, for not making the right choice for him. In conclusion, If there were fewer stores who sold unhealthy meals, people would be compelled to make healthier choices.
Submitted by dessiejay000 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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