IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Scientists believe that computers will become more intelligent than human beings. Some people find it a positive development while others think it is negative development. Discuss both points and give your own opinion.

#scientists #computers #beings #people #development #points
It is argued that artificial intelligence will be more intellectual than mankind in the future. While some people believe that it has positive impact
such
 as human's works are going to be less laborious, I believe it is it has more negative sides because it increases unemployment ration. The computer has become increasingly permissive and an indispensable part of our life. It provides
ease
Suggestion
easier
 in work. Due to technological gadgets
such
 as computers and laptops people's office tasks are less complicated. The technological equipment works thoroughly without making a mistake, due to its standard operative system.
For example
, a renowned company Wipro revealed that in
this
 advanced technological world, cutting-edge computers completed 60-70% of the office tasks without human's need.
Hence
, they alleviate the employee's work burden.
However
, I would say that because of computers, the office does not require many workers and, that will increase the unemployment rate. The significant pessimistic effect is that the workplaces are occupied by artificial
intelligence
Accept comma addition
intelligence, hence
hence
, the task becomes less labour-intensive, so that, an employer will dismiss more employees
from
Suggestion
for
 the job. In order to
this
 difficult situation, people may do some offensive activities to earn some money.
For example
, Google found that in the many transnational companies compare to the past 10% less employees were working because of the advanced computer technology and
this
 proportion would increase in the upcoming years.
Therefore
, I believe,
this
 is will lead to a major drawback for the human being. In conclusion,
although
 computers provide easy-going working ambience, I believe because of the computers, a plethora of people will face unemployment,
that is
 the most harmful development.
Submitted by vishwa sagar on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: