More and more people today are moving from the countryside. Why is this happening? Do you think it is a positive or negative development

These days, the influx of residents from rural

areas

Use synonyms

to metropolises

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

growing exponentially. From my perspective, there are a host of compelling reasons leading to

this

Linking Words

negative

migration

Use synonyms

To begin

Linking Words

with, there are a plethora of causes accounting for the

migration

Use synonyms

suburb

Replace the word

suburban

show examples

residents to

cities

Use synonyms

Firstly

Linking Words

, those who migrated from the countryside to urban

areas

Use synonyms

desire to apply for a

job

Use synonyms

In other words

Linking Words

, the rapid economic growth of affluent

cities

Use synonyms

is bringing about plenty of

job

Use synonyms

opportunities

which

Punctuation problem

, which

show examples

attracts

Correct subject-verb agreement

attract

show examples

blue-collar workers from rural

areas

Use synonyms

to earn a good living in

cities

Use synonyms

, resulting in improving their lives.

Additionally

Linking Words

, it is the educational purpose that appeals to less developed

areas

Use synonyms

. Specifically, universities and colleges are often situated in large

cities

Use synonyms

Change preposition

apply

show examples

which have a modern and convenient transport system.

Therefore

Linking Words

, parents in rural

areas

Use synonyms

usually have a tendency to encourage their

offsprings

Fix the agreement mistake

offspring

show examples

to leave their home to get a better education in urban

areas

Use synonyms

Nevertheless

Linking Words

, the

migration

Use synonyms

wave from rural

areas

Use synonyms

is leaving detrimental impacts on

cities

Use synonyms

. The influx of rural citizens from the countryside will contribute to overpopulation in

cities

Use synonyms

Consequently

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

will exert severe pressure on the housing market, transportation, health care system and other aspects. Another negative effect is the prospect of an increase in the crime rate. In case people from rural

areas

Use synonyms

living in

cities

Use synonyms

fail to apply for a

job

Use synonyms

, they are likely to commit a crime

such

Linking Words

drug-trafficking

Use the right word

drug trafficking

show examples

or even human trafficking. Take Vietnam as a typical example, 39 deaths were confirmed in a refrigerated truck in Essex in the United Kingdom in 2019, which was a consequence of human trafficking caused by those people who are unemployed in a rural district in Vietnam. In conclusion, it is obvious that there are plenty of causes that contribute to the

migration

Use synonyms

from rural

areas

Use synonyms

to large

cities

Use synonyms

, which are

job

Use synonyms

opportunities and educational purposes. To curb the spread of

this

Linking Words

trend, it is highly recommended that universities and large enterprises should be relocated and partly moved to the countryside to create a balance between

job

Use synonyms

opportunities in rural and urban

areas

Use synonyms

Andy

Aug 15, 2020

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task achievement

Your introduction clearly presents the topic, but it could be more concise. Aim for clarity and directness.

coherence and cohesion

Make sure to link your ideas more clearly within paragraphs to improve flow. Use connectives like 'moreover' or 'furthermore'.

task achievement

Provide more specific examples or data to support your points. This will strengthen your argument and show deeper understanding.

coherence and cohesion

You clearly outline the reasons for migration in the introduction and present them in a logical order.

task achievement

You provide a relevant example of human trafficking to support your point, showing good awareness of real-world issues.

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

349 words

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More and more people today are moving from the countryside. Why is this happening? Do you think it is a positive or negative development

Some people say that tourism has many negative effects on the countries that people travel to. How true is this statement? What can tourists do to reduce the harmful effects of tourism on local cultures and environment?

Some people believe that individuals should be allowed to own a gun as a means to protect themselves and their families. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement

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