IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to share freely. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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To collect scientific data plays an essential role in improving the transparency and precision of the
research
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. Despite the extensive usage of the
information
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 for
education
Suggestion
educational
 or business purposes, some could be too valuable or even
sensitive
Suggestion
sensible
 to be public, so the access restriction is a reasonable way to reduce any adverse effects they bring. On the one hand, the core purpose of doing
research
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 is to provide useful data for others and help
for
Suggestion
in
 the development of certain specific fields in which these researches were conducted. Any project would need to use the data collected from other sources as illustrations or additional
information
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 to increase objectiveness. To be specific, a business plan without any market
research
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 data act as a part of the whole picture would remain only plain unrealistic theories and ideas which will not be
approvable
capable of being demonstrated or proved
provable
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some
information
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 may contribute to the misunderstanding of people or for improper purposes other than education.
For example
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, the data from Nobel’s
research
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 had been used to create atomic bombs, bring deaths to millions of people. Making people take responsibility for what they have done is complicated unless they pay for their mistakes. The fees charged to obtain any valuable
information
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 will not only help researchers fund their
next
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project but
Accept comma addition
project, but
also
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 have people more careful to put the results into consideration. The limitation
also
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 will expose the
users’
Suggestion
user
 identification that would make
future
more distant in especially degree
further
 investigations more precise and
straightforward
Suggestion
straight forward
. In conclusion, there should be some way to limit the use of sensitive
information
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 for any purposes different from education without permission. People ought to keep track of all the applications and make sure that none of them will be utilized in genocide ideas any longer.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • information sharing
  • scientific research
  • business
  • academic world
  • advancement of knowledge
  • progress
  • collaboration
  • cross-disciplinary research
  • open access
  • democratization of information
  • transparency
  • credibility
  • intellectual property
  • security concerns
  • commercial interests
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