Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

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Some people think that asking for private data for a job application in interviews with employers, namely hobbies,
interests
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, and marital status, is beneficial, but some people deny the fact and think the demand
totally
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is totally
show examples
irrelevant. In my opinion, it is necessary, now I am going to describe the reason behind my selected side. Sometimes, in interviews, employers ask for personal
info
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. They assume that
this
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info
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will help them to select wisely because having hobbies and
interests
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shows a balanced life to some extent led by the
candidate
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that will affect the working environment.
Then
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,
candidates
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will be able to maintain good relationships between themselves and,
as a result
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, will work as a good working team.
Moreover
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,
candidates
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from the same background will be able to work together more effectively than
candidates
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from different backgrounds which will increase working efficiency.
On the other hand
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, some people assume that asking for personal
info
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is a bad practice because to them they are irrelevant and useless for securing a career. They predict that revealing private
info
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will create discrimination between the
candidates
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. Every other day, we see in newspapers that an employer has given a particular job to his/her familiar
candidate
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. In
this
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way, some
candidates
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lose their opportunity even though they are eligible for the position with proper degrees.
However
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, it will not be ethical to select for a particular job where a
candidate
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's private
info
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is asked. In conclusion, even so, sometimes, it is irrelevant to share personal
info
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, most employers should know a
candidate
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's
interests
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, hobbies, or family status.
Consequently
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, the company will have the advantage of having a good working team possessing the same
interests
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.
Submitted by mdfaisalbegasif on

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Content
Focus on developing your main points with more specific examples. For every claim you make, try to provide a concrete example to back it up. This will add more depth to your argument and make your essay more persuasive.
Structure
Work on structuring your essay in a more logical and cohesive manner. Each paragraph should focus on a single main point, followed by supporting details or examples. This makes your argument clearer and your essay easier to follow.
Introduction/Conclusion
Make sure to address the prompt directly in your introduction and conclusion. While you've mentioned your opinion, refining your thesis statement to clearly reflect the essay question can make your stance stronger. In your conclusion, succinctly summarize your argument to reinforce your viewpoint.
Cohesion
Utilize transitional phrases and topic sentences at the beginning of paragraphs to improve flow and connection between your ideas. This will enhance the readability and coherence of your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • job application
  • personal information
  • hobbies and interests
  • marital status
  • relevant
  • useful
  • privacy
  • assessing candidates
  • qualifications
  • experience
What to do next:
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