Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Some people think that asking for private data for a job application in interviews with employers, namely hobbies,
interests
, and marital status, is beneficial, but some people deny the fact and think the demand
totally
Add a missing verb
is totally
show examples
irrelevant. In my opinion, it is necessary, now I am going to describe the reason behind my selected side. Sometimes, in interviews, employers ask for personal
info
. They assume that
this
info
will help them to select wisely because having hobbies and
interests
shows a balanced life to some extent led by the
candidate
that will affect the working environment.
Then
,
candidates
will be able to maintain good relationships between themselves and,
as a result
, will work as a good working team.
Moreover
,
candidates
from the same background will be able to work together more effectively than
candidates
from different backgrounds which will increase working efficiency.
On the other hand
, some people assume that asking for personal
info
is a bad practice because to them they are irrelevant and useless for securing a career. They predict that revealing private
info
will create discrimination between the
candidates
. Every other day, we see in newspapers that an employer has given a particular job to his/her familiar
candidate
. In
this
way, some
candidates
lose their opportunity even though they are eligible for the position with proper degrees.
However
, it will not be ethical to select for a particular job where a
candidate
's private
info
is asked. In conclusion, even so, sometimes, it is irrelevant to share personal
info
, most employers should know a
candidate
's
interests
, hobbies, or family status.
Consequently
, the company will have the advantage of having a good working team possessing the same
interests
.
Submitted by mdfaisalbegasif on

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Content
Focus on developing your main points with more specific examples. For every claim you make, try to provide a concrete example to back it up. This will add more depth to your argument and make your essay more persuasive.
Structure
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Introduction/Conclusion
Make sure to address the prompt directly in your introduction and conclusion. While you've mentioned your opinion, refining your thesis statement to clearly reflect the essay question can make your stance stronger. In your conclusion, succinctly summarize your argument to reinforce your viewpoint.
Cohesion
Utilize transitional phrases and topic sentences at the beginning of paragraphs to improve flow and connection between your ideas. This will enhance the readability and coherence of your essay.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • job application
  • personal information
  • hobbies and interests
  • marital status
  • relevant
  • useful
  • privacy
  • assessing candidates
  • qualifications
  • experience
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