The modern life is harmful for people as it brings a lot of pressure and reduces quality of relationships. To what extent do you agree or disagree.
Our modern
life
is the result of the fourth industrial revolution and the progress of science and technology. As Use synonyms
the a
result, it enhances the Choose an article
a
cutural
cultural and educational levels and impulses the development of many fields Correct your spelling
cultural
such
as medicine, politics, information technology and education... Modern Linking Words
life
not only meets all physical and spiritual needs but Use synonyms
also
improves the backward lifestyle to build a fair and civilized society in the industrialized and modernized era. Linking Words
However
, it is known Linking Words
for
a double-edged sword, it can Change preposition
as
brings
benefits but it Change the verb form
bring
also
can affect us with catastrophic consequences. There are many opinions that modern Linking Words
life
is detrimental Use synonyms
for
to Change preposition
apply
people
Use synonyms
,
since it brings a lot of Remove the comma
apply
pressure
and Use synonyms
reduce
Change the verb form
reduces
quality
of relationships. On an individual level, I strongly agree with that view.
It is undoubted that our modern Add an article
the quality
life
is pressuring us. But how can? We can clearly see it at work. Use synonyms
Workforce
can’t be denied to be a vital factor that decides the economic growth and the development of a country now, so it strictly requires intellectual work much more than manual Correct article usage
The workforce
labor
. That causes a big Change the spelling
labour
pressure
on the workers for Use synonyms
this
requirementLinking Words
,
and Remove the comma
apply
also
leads to a conflict between them to find out who will be recruited or accepted for the jobs, but only when they can meet all the standards Linking Words
otherwise
they will be out of Linking Words
job
and become unemployed. Another circumstance Add an article
a job
the job
easily
to realize is schools. Change the word
easy
Certainly
no parents want their children to get the short end of the stick Add a comma
Certainly,
therefore
they compare theirs with the others, and try to put as much Linking Words
pressure
as they can to force them to study more and more better and better than anyone else to bring back glory and make them proud. One more thing is a pandemic Use synonyms
that is
raging all over the world is Covid-19. It can be seen that Covid-19 is the greatest Linking Words
pressure
for all Use synonyms
people
. Why did it appear? Use synonyms
Due to
Linking Words
the
modern Correct article usage
apply
life
, Use synonyms
the
Correct article usage
apply
people
are always curious and want to try Use synonyms
the
dishes made of raw meat from wild animals without Correct article usage
apply
the
preliminary processing, especially bats that contain viruses.
Another problem modern Correct article usage
apply
life
Use synonyms
makes
is the quality reduction of relationships. It is surprising that stress and Verb problem
faces
relationship
are relevant. Like all the circumstances mentioned above, stress can lead to Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
Correct article usage
a
the
bad quality of Correct article usage
a
Correct article usage
a relationship
relationship
. If Correct article usage
a relationship
this
person stands a better chance Linking Words
to be
recruited, the other will tamper with the manager to change his mind. If Change preposition
of being
that is
discovered, their relationship will be separated and they will lose belief. Linking Words
Or
the students are competed against the others too much, they will envy and become jealous. They will cheat and spread Correct word choice
If
the
unreal and bad Correct article usage
apply
rumors
about their friends, and Change the spelling
rumours
finally
, they will no longer be friends.
In conclusion, I think Linking Words
people
shouldn’t take advantage of anything, try to acquire progressive views and train personalities, and the government should Use synonyms
also
create jobs for everyone for the comprehensive development of the country.Linking Words
Submitted by Andy on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion need to be further developed to provide a clearer and more comprehensive overview of the essay.
task achievement
The essay addresses the task but does not provide a comprehensive response, and the examples used are not always relevant to the topic.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.