Some people believe that all students should be made to have an unpaid job in their free time. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #students #job #time

Volunteering offers vital help to people in need and the community, but the benefits are much greater for the volunteer. There are some people of the opinion that scholars are to be forced to

work

for free in their spare time. I do not fully agree with

this

statement.

This

essay will discuss the advantages of being a young volunteer, but will argue why it should not be compulsory. Without a doubt, volunteering could be an extension of the student's academic and life journey as it provides the individual with life skills. Being part of a non-profitable group serving the community will teach the

scholars many

Accept comma addition

scholars, many

lessons, including how to

work

with people from a different background and the value of hard

work

Furthermore

will it develops

Suggestion

will it develop

will it develops

empathy towards those less fortunate.

For example

, I once help to feed the homeless during winter, and

this

has led me to become humble and to appreciate small things in life.

However

, to help the needy must be a choice, the person himself needs to take. Most young people are already under enough pressure with their studies and do not need any additional responsibility to

work

in their free time. School is just as demanding as a full-time job, where teachers expect their students to do homework, prepare for exams and attend classes every day.

For instance

, a school day is 7 hours with 2 hours

for

Suggestion

homework or preparation for exams and on top of

this

after school activities. When young people have spare time, they should spend it with their friends. Nobody should be forced to volunteer, and

this

is surely the best system. In conclusion, teenagers may choose to

work

for free and help others, but in my opinion,

this

should not be forced on to students.

Submitted by Dawid on Sat Aug 15 2020

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

297 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.5

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that all students should be made to have an unpaid job in their free time. Do you agree or disagree?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices. To what extend do you agree or disgree with this stagement.

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to cooperate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development

Living in country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems to what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?