IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In the past, people usually stayed in one place throughout their life. These days, people often move around. They often live in several different places in their life time. What are the advantages and disadvantages of both?

#people #place #life #move #places #time
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The way people
live
Suggestion
lived
 in the past and now is greatly different. In the past, people spent their whole
life staying
Accept comma addition
life, staying
 permanently in
one
place whereas
Accept comma addition
place, whereas
 they tend to be frequently on the move and change their
accomodations
making or becoming suitable; adjusting to circumstances
accommodations
accommodation
 nowadays.
However
, each living
ways
Suggestion
way
 has its pros and cons.
This
 essay will discuss about the benefits of each ways and what drawbacks people had and have. In the past, people were likely to live stably in
one
place
 due to the underprivileged condition and the limitation in
family budget
Suggestion
the family budget
a family budget
family budgets
. I believe that living in
one
place
 had its advantages. Compensating for being unable to move around was that people were always close to and in touch with their families and friends.
Furthermore
, people knew everyone very well and helped each other so they always united and had strong relationships.
However
, there were disadvantages as well. Staying in
one
place
 meant they lost their
chances
Suggestion
chance
 to experience new things and enrich their knowledge, which led to their poor and outdated perspectives about the world, and get better jobs. How about now? People have flexibly moved from
place
 to
place
 currently. Those people stand a good chance to acquire more experiences as well as have more job opportunities and they
also
 can widen their relationships between people and people.
On the other hand
, they have to cope up with many challenges. The
first
one
 is finance, when moving to another
place
, they have to consider carefully if they’re well off enough to afford for the transportation and
accomodation
making or becoming suitable; adjusting to circumstances
accommodation
accommodations
. The
second
 problem is moving around means they’re usually far away and they may lose touch with their families. The greatest obstacle is the culture shock, it’s really hard for them to get over it and catch up with the others
.
Accept space
.
Additionally
, it may take them a long time to settle down and get accustomed to everything. In conclusion, from those advantages and disadvantages mentioned above, I would prefer to live in different places rather than stay in
one
place
 because I like
traveling
the act of going from one place to another
travelling
 and I can learn more things about culture, cuisine, custom...
to
Suggestion
To
 broaden my understanding.
Submitted by Andy on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: