People are living longer. Some people think that it causes big problems. Others, however, think the aging population has many advantages for business, government and society in general. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #population #business #government #society

Many people believe that the longer

lifespan

Suggestion

life span

of humans creates many thorny problems.

Nevertheless

, others suggest that

this

can

also

bring many benefits to business, government and society.

This

essay discusses both view points and features my opinion. There are reasons why many think that the ageing

population

is a problem.

Firstly

, it adds pressure on the welfare state when budgets are stretched thin because the greying

population

drives up medical and pension payments.

Secondly

, that people live longer may lead to a higher retirement age, which means people would be in the job market for longer duration. If the world of work fails to create new jobs,

this

will take a toll on youth employment prospects.

On the contrary

, others believe in the benefits that the ageing

population

can create. From a business perspective, companies can capitalise on products and services for the elderly. More importantly, our ageing

population

can be an economic powerhouse, which undoubtedly benefits any government. To explain, in the

longevity economy

Accept comma addition

longevity, economy

, older people can take part in economic activities and spend money, which is good for the economic growth. For society, since older people are a living museum of old values and traditions, their longer life expectancy helps preserve good values and traditions which always face the risk of being neglected. In conclusion, I believe that longer lives pose challenges to the

earth which

Accept comma addition

earth, which

is already a very crowded place.

However

this

is an irreversible trend which

also

carries with it many benefits.

Submitted by Andy on Sun Aug 16 2020

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

248 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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People are living longer. Some people think that it causes big problems. Others, however, think the aging population has many advantages for business, government and society in general. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Professional sports involve large sums of money and receive enormous media coverage. Meanwhile serious culture, including music, art and theatre, is badly neglected. This is making our society shallower. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many people use distance learning programmes to study at home, but others think that it cannot bring the benefits as much as attending college or university. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

The restoration of old buildings in major cities in the world costs numerous governments' expenditure. This money should be used in new housing and road development. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that Internet users should be able to express any kind of opinion online. Other people feel that governments or the companies that own websites should put limits on what people can say online.