IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think the money spent in developing the technology for space exploration is not justified. There are more beneficial ways to spend this money. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is disputable that many nations are squandering tremendous amounts of budgets on investment while there are
more imperative
Suggestion
most imperative
 things that require these finances. Even though
space
Use synonyms
 exploration plays a crucial role in human civilization, it should not take precedence over other domains. One the one hand, the investment in
space
Use synonyms
 exploration brings numerous remarkable benefits to humanity. Especially
,
Accept space
,
population explosion
Suggestion
the population explosion
are becoming
Suggestion
is becoming
 a worrying issue, it is reasonable to invest
space
Use synonyms
 machinery to seek extraterrestrial life. Apart from
this
Linking Words
,
Accept space
,
thanks to artificial satellites, it could make predictions about
weather
introduces two alternatives
whether
 or asteroid catastrophe to warn human beings so people have more
oppoturnities
a possibility due to a favorable combination of circumstances
opportunities
 to evacuate to safe places before sudden storms or hurricanes strike.
Hence
Linking Words
, spending a huge
sums
Suggestion
sum
 of money in
space
Use synonyms
 discovery devices is the most efficient method to protect
people
Suggestion
the people
 from external threats. One the
ond
used of a single unit or thing; not two or more
one
 hand
,
Accept space
,
there are still more pressing fields that require
this
Linking Words
 financial resource
such
Linking Words
 as education,
healthcare
Suggestion
health care
 system, shelter problem, to name but a few. To be more specific, the government in each country should make use of
this
Linking Words
 budget to invest in education in secluded areas or areas with a lot of shortcomings.
Imporverished
Suggestion
Impoverished
 children in Africa need financial support for a better educational environment, for
exampe
an item of information that is typical of a class or group
example
. Another domain is
also
Linking Words
 in need of pecuniary resource is
healthcare system
Suggestion
a health care system
health care system
the health care system
 as the Covid 19 pandemic produces countless large influences on global economic development. Because
this
Linking Words
 pandemic is considered as a matter of human survival. In conclusion, my stance is that the government should cut down expenditure on discovering the universe or put
space
Use synonyms
 exploration aside and
instead
Linking Words
 focus on developing urgent spheres like education and
healthcare
Suggestion
health care
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • space exploration
  • justified expenditure
  • technological advances
  • earthly concerns
  • telecommunications
  • environmental conservation
  • inspire innovation
  • diplomatic relationships
  • peaceful cooperation
  • long-term survival
  • colonization
  • commercial ventures
What to do next:
Look at other essays: