IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some parents believe that extra private lesson outside school hours, where students work alone with a teach, can help them do better at school. Others disagree. What are the advantages and disadvantages of private tuition? And give your opinion.

There are some people
believe
Correct pronoun usage
who believe
show examples
 that their
children
Use synonyms
 should learn from tutors, which will bring many better
things
Use synonyms
 rather than schools;
nevertheless
Linking Words
, some other people have
opposite
Correct article usage
the opposite
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 thinking.
This
Linking Words
 essay will argue some benefits
as well as
Linking Words
 drawbacks of
this
Linking Words
 statement. In my opinion, I completely disagree with
this
Linking Words
 trend. On the one hand,
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 main disadvantage of
this
Linking Words
 trend is that
children
Use synonyms
 lack experience working
teamwork
Change preposition
in teamwork
show examples
. Studying with each other
play
Correct subject-verb agreement
plays
show examples
 an essential role in developing education of young people. They could again
a
Verb problem
do a
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lot of
exiting
Use the right word
exciting
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things
Use synonyms
from
Change preposition
with
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 their friend
instead
Linking Words
 of working alone with a teacher.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the distance of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
age
between
Check wording
difference between
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 teacher and student
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
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children
Use synonyms
 difficult show
things
Use synonyms
 which they want to share.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 fact
also
Linking Words
 poses
advantage
Correct article usage
an advantage
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is
Use the right word
in
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 that
children
Use synonyms
could
Wrong verb form
can
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 learn more knowledge because they do not share
time study
Correct word order
study time
show examples
 with
another
Fix the agreement mistake
others
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. Obviously, if just have one teacher
taught
Wrong verb form
teaching
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 one student,
children
Use synonyms
 would understand about lessons
Linking Words
due
Change preposition
because
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 to have much time
Punctuation problem
, because
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because
Correct word choice
and
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 when they have any
difficult
Replace the word
difficulty
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to
Change preposition
with
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 anything, they are able to ask again right away. In my opinion, I think that
this
Linking Words
 statement will negative
affect
Use the right word
effect
show examples
to
Change preposition
on
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children
Use synonyms
. They are little boys and girls
,
Punctuation problem
;
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 they cannot know
things
Use synonyms
;
therefore
Linking Words
, they need to attend classes with their
friend
Fix the agreement mistake
friends
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
,
children
Use synonyms
 do not learn with friends of the same age, they will become selfish and
do
Verb problem
apply
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not
how
Verb problem
know how
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 to share with others. In conclusion, there is a disadvantage to
this
Linking Words
 fact, namely inexperience in teamwork, but there is
also
Linking Words
 an advantage
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as having more time to gain knowledge. In my opinion, students
work
Wrong verb form
working
show examples
 alone with a tutor will not
as
Verb problem
be as
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 good as they study at school, and I completely disagree with
this
Linking Words
 statement.

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task response
State your view clearly in the first paragraph and restate it in the last paragraph.
task response
Give one clear point for each side, then add a short final view.
coherence and cohesion
Make one idea per paragraph and use linking words to move from one idea to the next.
coherence and cohesion
Fix grammar and spelling that slow the read, like subject–verb errors.
task response
Add a small example to back up each main point so the reader sees why it matters.
task response
The writer has a clear view about private tuition.
coherence and cohesion
There is a planned order with an intro, body and conclusion.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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