IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people say that arts subjects such as painting or drawing should not be made compulsory for high school students. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #arts #subjects #school #students
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is often said that students should be able to choose whether they want to attend art-related classes or not. I strongly agree with
this
Linking Words
 view, and will give my reasons below.
First
Linking Words
 of all, focusing on other subjects tend to be way more beneficial for a student’s career path. Arts subjects only support people who aim to be artists, while other classes, especially the STEM education system, serve as a foundation for a wide range of majors.
For instance
Linking Words
, math is the prerequisite for engineering, business, technology, and the list goes on.
This
Linking Words
 gives the high school
pupils many
Accept comma addition
pupils, many
 possible selections for their future.
Moreover
Linking Words
, globalization and the upcoming Industrial Revolution require a tremendous number of high-skilled workers majoring in science and research-related fields.
Therefore
Linking Words
, concrete fundamentals of non-
artistic
Suggestion
arts
 subjects will
make
engage in
do
 wonders for
the younger
Suggestion
the young
 people’s future holds. Another reason is that drawing is a special thing that requires innate talents. Imagination and other artistic skills are not easy to develop as social skills like critical thinking, management, communication or team work.
However
Linking Words
, imagination and
color
a visual attribute of things that results from the light they emit or transmit or reflect
colour
 accuracy are undoubtedly the sole prerequisites in order to be a successful artist;
as a result
Linking Words
, only people who are born with those skills will be able to progress
further
Linking Words
.
Hence
Linking Words
 it is not worth it to force people who are not meant to be an artist to join in art-related courses. In conclusion, I do not believe that it is a good idea to make the art subjects appear in the timetable of all high school students.
Submitted by Andy on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: