Today, the majority of children are raised by their grandparents due to the fact that their parents are busy working. To what extent do you think it affects the whole family?

With the increase in the career- oriented lifestyle, children are brought up by their grandparents. I believe that
this
arrangement has more negative effects than positive ones and some major points will be addressed in the following paragraphs.
First
of all, it is a well- known fact that in a traditional extended
families
Suggestion
family
, the financial burden
fall
Suggestion
falls
on the shoulder of parents. So that taking care of children lead a helping hand in
allow
Suggestion
allowing
parents to focus on their work without worrying about the safe of their kid. The most obvious example is that with the increase in the social evils, parent’s greatest concern is the safety of their children.
As a result
, asking asking grandparents to take care of their children is a wise choice. The
second
reason being parents
also need
Suggestion
also needs
time to rest and relax themselves. But they could not do that without the help of the grandparents. A hectic schedule can
results
Suggestion
result
in some dire consequences of conflicts in the
family which
Accept comma addition
family, which
exerts
negative impact
Suggestion
a negative impact
on teenagers and the whole family.
However
, today ‘s parents are far more engrossed in earning money
,
Accept space
,
which creates a huge gap in the relationship between children and parents. So that parent should strengthen
family
Suggestion
families
the family
In conclusion, it is unavoidable in many cases that both parents need to contribute to earning to support the family. Raising children by grandparents is a welcomed trend and that will strengthen the family relationship.
bonds
Suggestion
Bonds
.
Submitted by Andy on

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    • Sentence 2 - Example
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