IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Many animal species are becoming extinct due to human activities on land and in sea. What are the reasons and solutions to solve this problem?

#species #activities #land #sea
It is undeniable that a number of different
species
 have been driven to the brink of extinction because of human beings. There are several causes of
this
 alarming trend, but some feasible measures could certainly be taken to tackle
this
 problem. The reason
of
Suggestion
for
this
 trend is the destruction of wildlife habitat. These
day
Suggestion
days
, due to the intensive of urban growth, enormous areas of forests have been cut down to give place for houses, road, industrial and commercial zones.
This
 means that a vast number of
species
 cannot find another home to live in, which probably usher in the disappearance of these
species
.
In addition
, various industrial operations and household activities have discharged a large amount of chemical sewage and untreated garbage into the sea, which will inflict tremendous damage on
marine ecosystem
Suggestion
marine ecosystems
the marine ecosystem
. By exposing these toxic substances, thousands of aquatic animals have been killed.
However
, there are many actions that
government
Suggestion
the government
 could take to address the problem describe above.
Firstly
, the construction of these enterprises should be stopped by law. In
this
 way, the natural environment can be preserved;
therefore
, the life of many
species
are
Suggestion
is
 probable
to be keep
Suggestion
keeping
 away from artificial influences and they can have way of livelihood and place to give birth.
Secondly
, it is important for government
to requires
Suggestion
requires
 businesses and factories to install proper waste treatment systems.
Finally
, if the authorities impose stricter punishments for organizations and individuals that release contaminants into the river or ocean,
marine environment
Suggestion
the marine environment
are
Suggestion
is
 likely to be protected from adverse effects
such
 as water pollution. In conclusion, while there are evident reasons that bring about
this
 phenomenon, I believe that
the grea
Suggestion
greater
the greatest
t efforts are necessary to curb the extinction of animal
species
Submitted by Andy on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: