Some people think that subjects like arts, music, drama and creative writing contribute more towards a child's overall development. The school curriculum should provide more time for these subjects to be taught if the school wants all-round development of children. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this?

#people #subjects #arts #music #drama #child #development #school #curriculum #time #children

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Since the establishment of schools, creative subjects have been implemented to the curricula in order to give young minds all-round growth. Many believe currently there is not much

time

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dedicated towards subjects

such

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as arts, music, drama and creative writing.

Although

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some may argue that creating more

time

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for these subjects can help children have a full

growth

Accept comma addition

growth, however

however

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, I disagree,

this

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is because it can result in negative development as it would require cutting more

time

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out of other subjects.

Firstly

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, adding more

time

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for these subjects will require extending school hours and financial aid. Take the UK

for example

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, 40 schools each year across Britain go on strike as the education department is underpaid. If there is an addition of extra hours to school-

time

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, it will require higher pay for educators and resources which

currenlty

at this time or period; now

currently

is not possible to fund due to UK in recession

Accept space

On the other hand

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, it is understandable to give more

time

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to the artistic

subjects as

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subjects, as

many may seek a future in these fields.

However

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, though these subjects are important to give a child a different way of thinking, they are not as vital as foundation subjects

such

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as English language which comes in handy daily. In my opinion, adding more hours of

extracurriculum

Suggestion

extra curriculum

activities will only result in loss of

time

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from foundation subjects, I believe

this

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is where parents can step in and hire private tutors for arts to aid their child's maturation. To conclude, even though artistic subjects are important for the development of

child

Suggestion

a child

children

the child

, they should not be cutting

time

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out of vital subjects

such

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as English and Maths which help us in

everday

found in the ordinary course of events

everyday

Submitted by mehulsharma on Tue Aug 18 2020

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

276 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Cognitive skills
Emotional intelligence
Creative thinking
All-round development
Holistic approach
Curriculum enhancement
Innovative thinking
Emotional expression
Social skills
Cultural awareness
Critical thinking
Interdisciplinary learning
Balanced growth
Artistic endeavors
Experimental learning

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