12. Some people believe that success in life depends upon hard work and determination, while others believe that other factors like money and personal appearance are important

Everyone wants to become successful in
life
. In order to achieve
success
in
life
everyone make efforts in their
life
.
Accept space
.
It is said by some individuals that in order to become successful in
life
a person should be hardworking and determined towards his goals. While
other
plural of other; the people or things not already mentioned
others
believe that
money
and
personality
Suggestion
the personality
of people is more important and both the viewpoints will be elaborated in the following paragraphs.
To begin
with, without hard work and determined
mind no
Accept comma addition
mind, no
one can achieve
success
in their
life
. All the famous people of the world have become successful only with the
hardwork
Suggestion
hard work
. Very few people get
success
in
life
on the basis of fate and luck.
For instance
, Kulwant
singh
Suggestion
Singh
was the famous writer of Punjabi and in his initial time period he used to write poems and stories but he did not get any kind of appreciation and acceptance but made efforts continuously and
finally
he became
successful writer
Suggestion
a successful writer
of Punjabi.
On the other hand
, some people have contradictory viewpoints they believe that
money
and physical features like personality is more important for achieving
success
in
life
.
Accept space
.
To illustrate
,
Accept space
,
in film and
fasion
how something is done or how it happens
fashion
industry people
are
Suggestion
is
more attracted towards beauty and they admire
beauty
Suggestion
the beauty
and girls who are beautiful get
primary opportunity
Suggestion
a primary opportunity
in
fasion
how something is done or how it happens
fashion
and film industry.
Furthermore
, some people get
success
because with
money
they can establish
business
Suggestion
a business
.
Accept space
.
To recapitulate
,
Accept space
,
I would like to write that
hardwork
Suggestion
hard work
and determination
is
Suggestion
are
really essential in order to achieve
success
in
life
and a person can not get
success
on the basis of
money
and personal appearance.
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • perseverance
  • discipline
  • resilience
  • effort
  • tenacity
  • external factors
  • financial resources
  • favorable appearance
  • perceptions
  • advantages
  • intrinsic
  • extrinsic
  • sustainable
  • facilitating
  • undeniable
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