IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

Nowadays in many countries women have full time jobs. Therefore, it is logical to share household tasks evenly between men and women. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#countries #women #time #jobs #household #tasks #men
In
this
modrnized
brought up to date
modernized
modernised
 and westernized
world both
Accept comma addition
world, both
 men and women are working.It is said by some individuals that males and females should work jointly in kitchen because both do
full time job
Suggestion
a full time job
 and they have limited time. In my perspective,
i
refers to the speaker or writer
I
 agree with the aforementioned statement and my viewpoint will be elaborated in the aforementioned paragraphs.
To begin
 with, during
past
Suggestion
the past
,
Accept space
,
 only women were allowed to do household chores because it was the duty of men to earn money and fulfil the needs of all the family members
,
Accept space
,
but these days living expenses of people have increased so
,
Accept space
,
 both men and women work in order to meet the demands of the family members.
For instance
, a survey was conducted in India in 2017 and its result was that seventy percent males and females are employed in private and government sectors and mostly their
houshold
a social unit living together
household
 work
is divided
Suggestion
are divided
 between them.
Furthermore
, if a
women
Suggestion
woman
 works and take care of children
then
conjunction used in comparatives
than
 men should definitely help her
in
Suggestion
with
houshold
a social unit living together
household
 chores because it is very difficult for a
women
Suggestion
woman
 to handle personal and professional life and
this
 will
also
 reduce her burden and she will get less frustration and she will be more happy and contented
.
Accept space
.
 To recapitulate,
i
refers to the speaker or writer
I
 would like to write that if men and women have full time
jobs
Accept comma addition
jobs, then
then
 they should equally share household chores.
Submitted by raman on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: