Some people believe that individuals are responsible for their own personal happiness. Others argue that happiness can be affected by other factors. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #individuals #happiness #factors

Everyone

person

likes to spend happy life. Some people believe that humans are responsible for their own

happiness

while

other

plural of other; the people or things not already mentioned

others

believe that

happy life

Suggestion

a happy life

the happy life

is depended on various other factors

Accept space

In my perspective,

happiness

also

affected by several other

factor

Suggestion

factors

and my viewpoints will be elaborated in the following paragraphs.

To begin

with,

happiness

of a

person

can be affected by

society

if he or she cares about the norms and culture of a

society

. Sometime customs and traditions of a

society

influence the lifestyle of a

person

and make him / her happy or sad.

For instance

, in a survey it was estimated in India that 56.4 percent people do marriage in their own religion because of family pressure and fear of

society

which directly affect the

happiness

of people.

On the other hand

, people are

also

responsible for their own

happiness

if they have emotional balance because sometimes people are influenced by the thoughts of other persons and

can not

cannot

concentrate on their own work which might affect their level of satisfaction and joy level.To illustrate, a

person

named Kulwant

singh

Suggestion

Singh

was a famous Punjabi

writer but

Accept comma addition

writer, but

when we read his autobiography in which he mentioned his initial period of struggle which was affected by the criticism of

people but

Accept comma addition

people, but

slowly he realized his weakness and overcome through it which made him

successful Punjabi writer

Suggestion

a successful Punjabi writer

. To recapitulate, I would like to say that

happiness

can be affected by m

any factors

Accept comma addition

factors, but

but individuals are

also

responsible for their own

happiness

Submitted by raman on Sat Aug 22 2020

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

252 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that individuals are responsible for their own personal happiness. Others argue that happiness can be affected by other factors. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Working abroad can help employees earn a great deal of money and gain more benefits. However, some people think this trend has many negative impacts.

Formal examinations are the only effective way to assess a student's performance. Continual assessment, such as course work and projects, is not a satisfactory way to do this. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In some countries there are more young people choosing to enrol in work-based training instead of attending university. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

The spread of multinational companies and the resulting increase in globalization will have positive effects on everyone. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that men are naturally naturally more competitive than women, while others believe that there is no difference in the competitiveness of men and women. Discuss both points of view and give your opinion.