IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

Some people think that it is better to educate boys and girls in separate schools. Others however believe that boys and girls benefit from attending mixed schools. Discuss both these views and give your own.

#people #boys #girls #schools #benefit
Education make us civilized, cultured and polished. It is said by some individuals that people should not allow their children to take co – education a because of various
reasons while
Accept comma addition
reasons, while
other
plural of other; the people or things not already mentioned
others
 think that both sexes learn more effectively when they
study
 in mixed schools and these viewpoints will be elaborated in the following paragraphs.
To begin
 with
,
Accept space
,
 some of the parents do not send their children to co-educational institute because they think that girls are
more safe
Suggestion
safer
 when they
study
 separately and they can
study
 more freely.
For instance
, in some parts of the Punjab it was tradition that girls were not allowed to talk with boys so parents did not allow their daughters to have education those days because there were limited single sex related schools.
On the other hand
 , some people have contradictory viewpoints they think that both sexes should be allowed to
study
 in same school because it will give them chance to remove their hesitation and they will interact more with each other and
this
 can help them in later stage of their life in which there could be the possibility that they would talk more confidently in future with their colleagues .Another benefit of putting children in same schools is that it will break the rigidness of traditions and bring equality in some countries. To recapitulate, I would like to write that
its
it is
it's
 better to educate both children in
same schools
Suggestion
the same schools
 for their growth and development.
Submitted by raman on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • co-education
  • gender segregation
  • peer pressure
  • academic performance
  • gender stereotypes
  • discrimination
  • social skills
  • teamwork
  • collaboration
  • diversity
What to do next:
Look at other essays: