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Writing Samples
Band 6

The continued rise in the world's population is the greatest problem faced by humanity at the present time. what are the causes of this continued rise? do you agree that it is the greatest problem faced by humanity?

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In
this
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 unique era, children's usual habit at home is changed to a sedentary style, which is completely different from a few decades ago due to technology development,
such
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 as television or computer screen. There exists a danger of children's physical development, which need to be restricted by controlling their
schedule
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 if it is necessary. In my own perspective, it is necessary that managing their
schedule
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 until they grow up enough because of reducing an expected risk in the future and prevent a social problem.
Firstly
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, it is easily expected that people who intensely play or watch a television or computer screen, they may face up the issue of handling their
schedule
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.
For instance
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, I believe that technology has the power to entice people into an unrealistic world, which makes them lose a sense of
time
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.
For example
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, teenagers have a smartphone that can instantly play games, which makes them fall into it more regardless of situations.
Hence
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, to avoid
this
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 harmful situation, their parents should restrict their
schedule
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 constantly.
Secondly
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, falling into television and computer without parents' supervision has another issue, like social problems. Less interaction with society makes them abandon people easily.
For instance
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, In Japan,
time
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 management is a crucial part of the motto. So the Japanese are very strict about
time
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. If an employer finds someone out ignoring the
time
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 management, they will not give an important assignment to them, because they believe people who cannot manage their
schedule
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 cannot complete the tasks.
Therefore
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, to become a useful person in society, parents should set a
schedule
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 correctly to adopt the rule of society.
On the other hand
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, there exists a potential problem in limiting children's schedules. Children may upset about being supervised by parents that it may lead them to the wrong path,
such
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 as aggressive behaviour against their parents. In conclusion, it is undeniable that the given topic has the bad potential is existed in setting supervision on.
However
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, the issue can be fixed with proper surveillance by parents.
Thus
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, to lead them to a good path, parents should take care of their schedules.

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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