IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Young people these days tend to be less polite and respectful than in the past. Whatare the causes and give your solutions?

#people #whatare
In the past years, young individuals were more polite and kind as compared with the present.I believed that the cause is related to family relationship and the kind environment where the young people grown up.
First
, due to a family relationship, it will matter how young people will behave, it will contribute to every member of the family.When young people are raised by their parents who are well behaved and a God fearing, it will be a great impact
then
 it will be inherited by the children.
however now
Accept comma addition
However, now
However now
 a days some parents have less time with the family because they are working
,
Accept space
,
then
 it will result that they can no longer give proper and right guidance.
For instance
,
this
 character will be applied by the children.
Secondly
,
Accept space
,
the young people who live in an environment
that is
 not good like the neighbourhood are fighting
this
 is one of the causes that will be inherited by young people to become less polite and
respecful
full of or exhibiting respect
respectful
.
Finally
, in my opinion the solution for
this
 situation is that young people need to be taught the values of being polite and respectful to one another. To conclude
,
Accept space
,
Young individuals these days tend to be less polite and respectful because of the nature how they raised by the parents or the people who took care of them and
moreover
 the surroundings that they have grown than in the past.
Submitted by Rachel Pancho on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: