IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many people believe that sportspeople who break the rules should be forbidden to compete again. To what extend do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

It is believed that a majority of people are apparently of the opinion that sports
persons
Use synonyms
 who do not follow the rules should be banned from their domain games. I
also
Linking Words
 agree that they should be punished and not allowed to compete with
the
Correct article usage
each
show examples
 other. I have discussed the following views to justify the essay content. It is certainly true that
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
breaking
Correct article usage
the rule
show examples
rule
Fix the agreement mistake
rules
show examples
 is
one
Use synonyms
 of the most common practices and
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 been followed
since
Change preposition
for
show examples
long
Correct article usage
a long
show examples
by
Check wording
time by
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
individual
sport person
Use the right word
sportspeople
show examples
.
In other words
Linking Words
,
such
Linking Words
 things have always influenced a person who plays extremely well, but
due to
Linking Words
 some
reasons
Punctuation problem
reasons,
show examples
try
Correct subject-verb agreement
tries
show examples
 to cheat in order to win the game.
Many
Change preposition
At many
show examples
 races
either
Punctuation problem
, either
show examples
a
Change preposition
at a
show examples
national or an international level the athlete finds to
consume
Wrong verb form
consuming
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
alcohol or other drugs to improve their performance. These things profoundly activate their energy in the competition. A number of
Use synonyms
persons
Check wording
people
show examples
emphasize
Use the right word
emphasise
show examples
 that
this
Linking Words
 strategy is called cheating. Anyone who
found
Verb problem
is found
show examples
 with
such
Linking Words
 habits should be completely removed from the team and heavily
fine
Replace the word
fined
show examples
 and banned for
lifetime
Replace the word
life
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
,
In
Fix capitalization
in
show examples
one
Use synonyms
 of the countries
;
Punctuation problem
,
show examples
 some of the cricketers
found
Verb problem
were found
show examples
 to take
bribe
Fix the agreement mistake
bribes
show examples
 during
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 international match, the government suspended their
licence
Use the right word
license
show examples
 and dismissed
from
Correct pronoun usage
them from
show examples
 the team.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
contrary
Correct article usage
the contrary
show examples
,
It
Fix capitalization
it
show examples
 is undeniable that
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
persons
Use synonyms
 are the pride of the country. They are the symbols of harmony and
very
Verb problem
are very
show examples
 well connected socially and economically in the development of any nation. Some folks think that
although
Linking Words
 they do some illegal types of activities or deviate from their roles, we should pardon them and give
Use synonyms
one
Correct pronoun usage
them one
show examples
 opportunity rather than hate them. Sometimes
sports
Correct article usage
a sports
show examples
 person feels very sad and eventually
commit
Correct subject-verb agreement
commits
show examples
 suicide when people react badly towards them.
Thus
Linking Words
,
It
Fix capitalization
it
show examples
 is vital that they
should
Verb problem
apply
show examples
get
one
Use synonyms
 more chance to come back again and prove it. As per
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
research conducted by
Correct article usage
the university
show examples
university
Fix capitalization
University
show examples
 of Japan, more than 70% of sports companies agreed that any player who
overrule
Correct subject-verb agreement
overrules
show examples
 or
break
Correct subject-verb agreement
breaks
show examples
 rules
;
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
should
give
Verb problem
receive
show examples
 positive punishment.
For instance
Linking Words
, to train the juniors for a long time. In a nutshell,
It
Fix capitalization
it
show examples
 is evident from the above discussion that any
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
persons
Use synonyms
 if they find
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
any
violences
Fix the agreement mistake
violence
show examples
;
Punctuation problem
,
show examples
 an action should be
taken
Punctuation problem
taken,
show examples
 whether to ban or stop
him
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
to play
Change preposition
from playing
show examples
 again or as per fine as per the law.

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task response
State one clear view and give reasons for it. Make your position strong and show your support with reasons.
coherence cohesion
Use a simple plan: intro, 3 body parts, and a short conclusion. Put the plan in the first part.
coherence cohesion
Link ideas with clear words. Use words like first, then, also, but, however, for example.
grammar vocabulary
Check grammar and spelling. Fix long sentences and wrong forms.
task response
Give real and short examples from sport to back your points, and explain how they show the rule was broken or not.
content
The essay shows an effort to cover both sides of the topic.
structure
There is an introduction and a conclusion.
examples
Some evidence or examples are given, not too few.
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