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Band 4.5

Some people believe that all wild animals should be protected. Others say that few wild animals should be protected instead. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #animals
Animal annihilation is an alarming issue the world over.
While
 some support the idea that all the
animals
 in the wild have the right to live, others believe that species close to extinction are the ones who need protection. In
this
 essay, I will discuss both
the
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apply
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views,
while
 strongly supporting the view that entire wildlife needs preservation.
Firstly
, over centuries human activity like industrialisation and deforestation has accelerated
animal
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the animal
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 populace to decrease.
While
 earlier, there was no awareness which caused various living beasts to disappear from the planet, now governments have been alarmed and allocated funds for animal conservation.
Furthermore
,
animals
 that are close to
extinctions
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extinction
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 are carefully nurtured in
the
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apply
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zoos and big budgets are spent on their upkeep and breeding. A good example of
this
,
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 is how China made efforts to conserve the giant panda populace and got them off the extinction list.
However
, we cannot let the other
animals
 die just because it's impossible to keep each one of them under watch.
Moreover
, since each and every
specie
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species
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 is equally important to maintain the balance of the ecosystem they need protection.
This
 can be achieved
taking
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by taking
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 care of their natural habitat. Governments around the world need to make strict laws against deforestation, which in turn protect all the wild creatures without much effort.
For example
, in India,
The forest
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the Forest
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 Conservation Act was the biggest movement which saved the tigers in the wild and took them off the extinction list. To summarise, I would like to reiterate that
while
 something that protecting just a certain number of
animals
 is enough I do not agree with the statement.
In addition
, I would like to add that rather equal effort
need
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needs
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 to be put
in
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apply
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,
in
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into
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 saving the entire animal kingdom.
Submitted by Suneela Phatak on

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task response
The essay addresses both views and provides some relevant examples. However, the introduction could be more engaging. The conclusion does not effectively summarize the main points and could be improved.
coherence and cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is generally good, but there are areas where the ideas could be more logically connected. Some sentences and paragraphs lack coherence and cohesion, which affects the overall clarity and organization of the essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • biodiversity
  • ecosystem
  • conservation status
  • ecological significance
  • holistic approach
  • endangered species
  • natural heritage
  • unforeseen negative impacts
  • economically non-viable
  • prioritization
  • ecosystem balance
  • conservation efforts
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