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Writing Samples
Band 6

Many people find it hard to balance their work with other parts of their lives. What are the reasons for this? How can this problem be overcome?

#people #balance #work #parts #lives
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With excessive workload in the 21st century, it is clear that many people now struggle to achieve a successful work-
life
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 balance.
This
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 essay will explore two reasons which cause
this
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 phenomenon and propose measures that might address them. One concern with regards to our workplace is a stable job is not guaranteed.
This
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 is because employers have the option of replacing poorly
performed employees
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performed, employees
, which means that any existing workers can be replaced by qualified fresh and post graduates.
Consequently
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, employees force themselves to allocate more
time
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 at the workplace and less
time
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 for their personal
life
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.
However
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, in many cases, many people would have inefficient
time
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 usage in the workplace to surf social media and play online games. In order to tackle
this
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 issue, one should be able to focus on their tasks for a fixed amount of
time
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, and they should not take additional responsibility when their work
time
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 is out. Another reason why people are working more is that they want to satisfy material values.
This
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 is because stressful city
life
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 leads to people finding happiness, and that would mean
profit
Suggestion
a profit
 to advertisers: appealing advertisements encourage people to buy products for convenient use, because they can bring short-term happiness to their users. The result is detrimental: many workers are out of monthly money at the end, and
this
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 reminds them to be a moneymaker at work.
Nevertheless
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, people can avoid these purchases by focusing on inexpensive hobbies,
such
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 as reading books and collecting stamps. These hobbies not only cost less money than buying products that
brings
Suggestion
bring
 people
satisfaction but
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satisfaction, but
also
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 increase the attention for their individual
life
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. In conclusion, I believe that job stability and materialism are the two major reasons why keeping a balance between work and
life
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 has become difficult, but
this
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 can be solved in order by relocating one’s attention and focus on enjoyable hobbies.
Submitted by Andy on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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