IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think that it would be better for large companies and industries to move to regional areas outside large urban centers. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

In
this
Linking Words
 industrialized world large sectors and organizations are growing at a very fast pace. Some people alleged that large scale production companies should prefer relocate in the remote
area
Use synonyms
 at the outskirt of cities. According to my perception, migration of these sectors is lucrative for both rural as well as for metropolitan citizens. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will discuss my view point before giving a concrete conclusion. Commencing with the most significant reason supporting my viewpoint is decrease level of pollution in downtown. To be more specific, when large industries tend to move on remote
area
Use synonyms
, it would eventually decrease the traffic level in the city. Because when
such
Linking Words
 companies are in the middle of cities, the traffic at the working hours will be more. As greater the traffic level more will be the utilization of public or private transportation which naturally consume fossil fuels.
However
Linking Words
,
burning
Suggestion
the burning
 of fossil fuel
releasle
release, as from one's grip
release
 many hazardous gases are
into
Suggestion
in
 the atmosphere which not only pollute the environment but
also
Linking Words
 give birth to many diseases. It is generally seen that the central cities where corporate sectors are in the city centre the congestion, respiratory diseases are at maximum extent. Moving
further
Linking Words
 in the same direction, location of the above mentioned companies is beneficial not only for city citizen, but
Linking Words
also bring
Suggestion
also brings
 fruitful results to the people residing in rural areas. As it not only boost up the employment opportunities for the local people, but
also
Linking Words
 for the entrepreneurs as they can hire the workers at low wages as compare to urban areas. Beside
this
Linking Words
, it
help
Suggestion
helps
 to increase the economy of that particular
area
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, when any industry opens in any remote
area
Use synonyms
, at least one member from each home get the chance to earn, which eventually improve their living conditions for the whole family. In Conclusion, shifting of big corporation sectors from metropolitan into countryside areas brings numerous lucrative outcomes, both for urban people as well as for village residents in term of health and economy respectively.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: