IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give tour own opinion

#people #situation #job #shortage #money #situations #tour
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
People are facing different issues in their daily life, some of them are dealing with undesired jobs and
money
Use synonyms
 issues. There are several approaches to cope with these problems, some people said that it is better to take bad situation easy, whereas
other
plural of other; the people or things not already mentioned
others
 argue that it is necessary to improve these situations. To me, it is better to
do
engage in
make
 more effort to try to improve the give situations.  There are several
reason
Suggestion
reasons
 why some people just do
not try better
Suggestion
better not try
. It might be easier just to accept an unsatisfactory job than try to get the dream one.
Although
Linking Words
 some people are not working in the best job, they might experience less stress because they are not regretting what they are doing.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, these people are positive and
resiliant
recovering readily from adversity, depression, or the like
resilient
. They are comfortable at least knowing that they have a job and that even if it is not the best one they are gaining experience and doing
somethig
an unspecified thing, agency, amount, etc.
something
 in their daily life. Pretty different, to be employed. When it comes to shortage of
money
Use synonyms
, they learn how to live and survive during tough times which make them stronger persons.
Lastly
Linking Words
,
money
Use synonyms
 does not become a
precursors
Suggestion
precursor
 for their
happines
state of well-being characterized by emotions ranging from contentment to intense joy
happiness
.
However
Linking Words
, those who try to improve during these situations reach a better outcome. These people learn how to overcome hardship and
therefore
Linking Words
, they will be fully prepared to face unexpected situations in the future.
Challenges
Suggestion
The challenges
 will not affect them and they can reach a higher degree of responsibility. Perhaps, these people who have a shortage of
money
Use synonyms
 do not work hard enough to avoid that.
By contrast
Linking Words
, people who work hard enough are able to get the awareness of the
sacrificies
endure the loss of
sacrifices
sacrifice
 and its results. It is a good feeling to know that you achieve a goal because of your hard work and effort.
Lastly
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 idea
provide
Suggestion
provides
 a personal grow that perhaps is not seen when you accepts bad situations. In conclusion, it is better to try to improve rather than to accept bad situations, it teaches lessons for the later life and might prepare you better for unexpected situations.
Submitted by juansetirado on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: