Some people believe that the government should take care of old people and provide financial support after they retire. Others say individuals should save during their working years to fund their own retirement. What is your opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include examples from your own experience.

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There is a subject of controversy whether workers should put aside while working
for
Suggestion
in
their retirement or depend on pensions that they receive from the
government
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. Both of these views will be discussed in
this
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essay. On the one hand, some people believe the
government
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is responsible for pensions. Workers are considered as a crucial factor to determine one nation's success because they have devoted themselves to working as well as to the betterment of society.
Hence
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, after retiring, they have a right to be provided with
finance
Suggestion
financial
.
For instance
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, in Vietnam, medical students spend over 6 years in university and keep on getting higher medical qualifications,
then
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they are always on the run in the hospital while working to help patients and reduce the mean mortality rate. With these contributions, they deserve to receive financial support while retiring.
On the other hand
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, putting by on their own has some benefits.
This
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could lessen the financial burden on
government
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and more state budget will be used for improving other
life
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aspects
such
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as poverty in remote areas or education for the underprivileged.
Moreover
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, having independent savings
enable
Suggestion
enables
old people to be more active in having a well-fed
life
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as well as let their offsprings not be worried about them. With savings, retired workers could pursue their own hobbies and improve their spiritual
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life
Accept comma addition
life, such
such
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as fishing with old friends or treated themselves a vacation. In conclusion,
although
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the
government
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takes responsibility to provide pensions, saving for retirement let old people be more active in their
life
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.
Submitted by Andy on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial support
  • retirement
  • government intervention
  • contribute to society
  • financial independence
  • safety net
  • personal responsibility
  • self-reliance
  • financial education
  • incentives
  • individual circumstances
  • sustainable
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