Some people believe that the government should take care of old people and provide financial support after they retire. Others say individuals should save during their working years to fund their own retirement. What is your opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include examples from your own experience.

#people #government #care #support #individuals #years #fund #retirement

There is a subject of controversy whether workers should put aside while working

for

Suggestion

their retirement or depend on pensions that they receive from the

government

. Both of these views will be discussed in

this

essay. On the one hand, some people believe the

government

is responsible for pensions. Workers are considered as a crucial factor to determine one nation's success because they have devoted themselves to working as well as to the betterment of society.

Hence

, after retiring, they have a right to be provided with

finance

Suggestion

financial

For instance

, in Vietnam, medical students spend over 6 years in university and keep on getting higher medical qualifications,

then

they are always on the run in the hospital while working to help patients and reduce the mean mortality rate. With these contributions, they deserve to receive financial support while retiring.

On the other hand

, putting by on their own has some benefits.

This

could lessen the financial burden on

government

and more state budget will be used for improving other

life

aspects

such

as poverty in remote areas or education for the underprivileged.

Moreover

, having independent savings

enable

Suggestion

enables

old people to be more active in having a well-fed

life

as well as let their offsprings not be worried about them. With savings, retired workers could pursue their own hobbies and improve their spiritual

life

Accept comma addition

life, such

such

as fishing with old friends or treated themselves a vacation. In conclusion,

although

the

government

takes responsibility to provide pensions, saving for retirement let old people be more active in their

life

Submitted by Andy on Wed Aug 26 2020

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

256 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

financial support
retirement
government intervention
contribute to society
financial independence
safety net
personal responsibility
self-reliance
financial education
incentives
individual circumstances
sustainable

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4.5
band
In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping center or mall to do their shopping. Is this a positive or a negative development?
In my opinion, traveling to large shopping center and abandoning the small local shops could have a positive and negative development.
6
band
University students should pay the full cost for their own study because a university education benefits individuals rather than society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is believed that students are responsible for paying the whole cost for their own curricula programme, as the university curriculum benefits them rather than society. I completely disagree with this assertion for several reasons.
5.5
band
Write a letter to your manager to request setting up a cafeteria for the staff. In your letter, you should tell: what you heard about the inconvenience from the staff how you feel about it what suggestions you have
I am Kiranpreet Kaur, working as Shift Supervisor in your organization from 2021. I am writing to you due to the dissatisfaction expressed by staff members recently about the 15 minutes break criteria and a suggestion to help resolve this matter.
5
band
Some people think that environmental problems are too big for individuals to solve, while others think that the government cannot solve these environmental problems unless individuals make some action. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Environmental problems, such as global warming, are a huge concern for the world that we are living in today. Therefore, it is paramount that we try to solve the issues both on a global and national scale.
7.5
band
There have been some problems with the bus service, especially its reliability, in your area over the last two weeks. Write a letter to the manager of the bus company. In your letter • describe what the problems are • explain how these problems are affecting you • suggest what you would like the company to do Write at least 150 words.
I am writing to complain about the bus service I normally use to get to my university campus.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping center or mall to do their shopping. Is this a positive or a negative development?

University students should pay the full cost for their own study because a university education benefits individuals rather than society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Write a letter to your manager to request setting up a cafeteria for the staff. In your letter, you should tell: what you heard about the inconvenience from the staff how you feel about it what suggestions you have

Some people think that environmental problems are too big for individuals to solve, while others think that the government cannot solve these environmental problems unless individuals make some action. Discuss both views and give your opinion.