The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend Do you agree or disagree?

Some people opine that our working days should not be long.

However

, others state that a shorter bank holiday is necessary. In my view, I prefer an extended weekend, and I will explain why in the following paragraphs. To start with, in Taiwan, companies require employees to work as much as they can.

As a result

, most of my peers have some mental disorders and physical illnesses, they

suffer

Wrong verb form

suffered

show examples

from those problems when they were very young. I believe the remedy for

this

phenomenon is to have more days off work. When people are off duty, they may consider paying somewhere a visit. By

traveling

Change the spelling

travelling

show examples

, the pressure will be out of your mind. Doing exercise can bring you a strong, healthy, and agile body.

This

is a good charge for you to face the next challenge. Overworking is very common in our culture. Without doing that, your supervisor may think you are not diligent, and you probably will be fired.

Hence

, I frequently see my co-workers work for our company during the weekend for free.

However

, a job with a heavy workload is not considered a friendly working environment. Many staff want to make use of their leisure

time

, but

due to

consistent working, they are running out of energy and

time

for their hobbies. In a nutshell, twenty-four-seven working in my motherland is ubiquitous.

However

, most people I know are not cut out for a longer

laboring

Change the spelling

labouring

show examples

time

, because it can cause physiological and psychological issues. We will be more than happy to have more free

time

for doing our own

businesses

Fix the agreement mistake

business

show examples

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

because taking a vacation can boost us up.

Submitted by edward300225 on Tue Oct 01 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response

To improve your task response, consider providing more specific examples and data to support your points. This will make your argument more compelling.

coherence cohesion

Enhance coherence and cohesion by ensuring that each paragraph flows smoothly into the next. Use more transition words and phrases to guide the reader through your arguments.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which gives a good structure to your writing.

task response

You provide relevant and easily understandable arguments supporting the idea of a shorter working week and longer weekends.

task response

Your points are generally well-supported and contribute to a persuasive argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

271 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

Topic Vocabulary:

productivity
burnout
motivation
mental well-being
work-life balance
job satisfaction
pollution levels
traffic congestion
consumer spending
economic implications
leisure and service sectors

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5.5
band
Some people believe that the expansion of tourism is ruining the culture of a country, but others consider that tourism is the only way of protecting a culture. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
There is this debate over whether the problem of expanding tourism will end up destroying the culture of a country or preserving it. Before throwing our judgement so fast, we should consider the situation rationally. Personally, in this ever-changing world, I believe that neither of them would happen by the expansion of tourism, as long as the government takes action in the right way.
5
band
Parent allowed their children to use ipad. Do you agree or disagree
Nowadays, Ipad have important role for children because it have many educational apps that enhance learning and development in the school. Some parents don't have much time to take care of their child, so they use an iPad to raise their child. Ipad have advantage and disadvantage for the children. I think children at age below 2 years should not use ipad but age above 2 years can use ipad. I will discuss the advantages and disadvantages from the following paragraphs. On the one hand, Ipad has benefits for elementary school students because the iPad has many educational apps for the students and the iPad can stimulate their imagination. Furthermore, Ipad can improve children's hands-eyes coordination and fine motor skills. In the future technology will grow up and have innovation, it would be good for the children to learn how to use technology at a young age. On the other hand, There are many disadvantage of ipad using in children at age below 2 years. In the medical research, they ...
5
band
Some people believe that to protect local cultures, tourism should be banned in some areas, while others think that change is inevitable and banning tourism will have no benefits. Discuss both sides and give your opinion
It is argued that putting restrictions on exploration is irrelevant and change of mankind is not possible. A school of thought holds perceptions that travelling should be banned to preserve local culture in some vicinities. The essey will elaborate on both points of view and the writer's opinion.
4
band
Car ownership has increased so raipdly over the past thirty years that many cities in the world are now 'one big traffic jam'. How true do you think statement is? What measures can government take to discourage people from using their cars?
Owner of cars are raised so fast during last three decades and it is caused for serious vehicles congestion. The government should take necessary steps to tackle this burning status.
7.5
band
some people get into debt by buying things they do not need and can not afford. What are the reasons for this behaviour? What action can be taken to prevent people from having this problem?
Purchasing items which are not suitable for peoples' budgets and unuseful things may lead to suffering with loans.In this essay, I will write the key ways to solve this problem before going to buy something and paying extra debt.

The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend Do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people believe that the expansion of tourism is ruining the culture of a country, but others consider that tourism is the only way of protecting a culture. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Parent allowed their children to use ipad. Do you agree or disagree

Some people believe that to protect local cultures, tourism should be banned in some areas, while others think that change is inevitable and banning tourism will have no benefits. Discuss both sides and give your opinion

Car ownership has increased so raipdly over the past thirty years that many cities in the world are now 'one big traffic jam'. How true do you think statement is? What measures can government take to discourage people from using their cars?

some people get into debt by buying things they do not need and can not afford. What are the reasons for this behaviour? What action can be taken to prevent people from having this problem?