Some people say that the government should spend more money taking care of elderly people while others think that government spending should be spent more on the education of young people. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

People have different
view
Suggestion
views
about what purposes that
authorities’
Suggestion
authority’s
budget
ought to spend on. In my opinion, both senior citizens and academic education of youngsters should be invested in. On the one hand, there are multiple reasons why
government
Suggestion
the government budget
budget
should be used for
the old
Suggestion
older
people. Owing to the fact that they all have been retired so that they are incapable of working intensively.
This
situation leads to the shortage of money to which helps them to meet their fundamental requirements.
For instance
, elderly people who
was employed
Suggestion
were employed
without any insurance for financial aid after their retirement will not be able to afford food and drink to survive. So in fact, the help
from
Suggestion
of
authorities is immensely vital for their daily lives.
On the other hand
, students
is
Suggestion
are
the future of a nation so it is incredibly pivotal to invest in them.
Firstly
, without academic education it is impossible for
next generation
Suggestion
the next generation
to contribute to boost the national development, which will be the reason of manifold extremely awful results.
For instance
, there will be no invention or initiative in the future due to the lack of scientists, researchers… with
wide range
Suggestion
a wide range
of knowledge. The action of using
budget
Suggestion
a budget
the budget
for investing in school systems is the most effective method to avoid the situation that one
country
Suggestion
country's
economy will get worse rapidly. In conclusion, it seems to me that
government’s
Suggestion
a government’s budget
the government’s budget
budget
used to spend on both taking care of senior people and educating students is a key importance to the developing process of one nation.
Submitted by Andy on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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