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Writing Samples
Band 5

Many people are now opting to provide technology companies with their personal data in exchange for access to software.

#people #technology #companies #data #exchange #access #software
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Many people voluntarily submit their personal information to technology companies to gain access to their applications.
This
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 essay will argue that even though it has some remarkable advantages
such
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 as allowing people to perform daily routines at
workplace
Suggestion
the workplace
 very easily without any hassle, its disadvantages like data misuse can far outweigh any benefit. The main advantage is that it is so easy to carry out many of the day to day duties without sitting
at
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in
office
Suggestion
an office
. In the past, people always must be physically present at their
work
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 premise to
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work but
Accept comma addition
work, but
 nowadays they can utilize a remote desktop application to
work
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 remotely from home or somewhere else around the world.
For example
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, many employees use TeamViewer or Zoom software to
work
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 from home and it requires a simple sign in steps. When they purchase the same by using their credit card, immediately they will receive a handful of enhanced
features
Suggestion
feature
 concurrent employee interactions which help them to make their
work
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 easy. It is a fact that technology companies access peoples’ private data without their permission and use it unethically. Nowadays we hear
many
Suggestion
much
 news about hacking
email and
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email, and
 bank accounts and stealing money. In these applications, once they found a loophole, they spread a spam software to retrieve user credentials to get the full computer control.
For instance
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, the root cause to hack Saudi Aramco Company in 2000 was a bug related TeamViewer application. It resulted to forcefully close their operations nearly a week and due to an unidentified bank transfer, they lost some thousands of money from their SABB Bank account. In conclusion, submitting private information to technology companies has positive effects like people can
work
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 from home but its negative effects like misusing personal data has a major risk and it far outweighs any plus point.
Submitted by ravitharanga on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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